Trans Specific Imagines

1 || Trans Boy x Ethan (CrankGameplays)

First chapter from me. This is a trans boy/ trans masculine specific reader x Crankgameplays imagine/ one shot or whatever (he/him/his pronouns are used for the reader)

!!! TRIGGER WARNING !!! There is internalized transphobia; "Internalized trans-phobia refers to feelings some people have inside about their being trans that they might not even be aware of. It refers to how some people hate that part of themselves and are ashamed of it." (https://tgmentalhealth.com/2011/03/25/internalized-trans-phobia/) also A LOT of crying. A fight with Ethan kinda. Proceed.

Also hi, I'm Roland, I'm a trans boy so don't come at me with discourse about how I wrote this unless you are giving constructive criticism on my actual writing skills. Anyway, go ahead and read it. Also, sorry. I really love dialogue. Working on that lol.

Word count: 1821 words

"You're an Earthly comfort yet so divine" - Joji

"I think for right now it would be better if you left," he sighed as he opened the front door, "I just need time to think about this." His voice cracked. It broke my heart to see him so broken up about this and it's all because of me. Why did I have to open my big stupid mouth?

With tears starting to form in my eyes I walked to the doorway, "I'm so sorry," and with that he shut the door. I had no idea what to do. I was devastated but I was mostly just angry at myself. I shouldn't have confused him like that. He's straight for fucks sake. He'd been looking for a girlfriend since he moved to LA.

Shall I run to Mark like I've been doing since I realized I'm in love with Ethan? I'll just get an 'I told you so' but I suppose it's better than going home alone. Was what I thought as I sat in my drivers seat hitting my head against the wheel.

I drive just a couple streets over to the office because I know Mark is probably still there working on videos. I walk in to see Amy with a worried look on her face. She must've seen me before I saw her. "Honey, are you okay?" Gosh, what a sweet girl. So good for Mark.

I gave a light forced laugh and rubbed my eye. I guess I had been crying more than I thought. "Oh yea, I'm fine. Where's Mark?"

"Lounge. I think he's planning a live stream," she said giving me a small smile.

"Lit, thanks." Why am I like this? "Markimoo, I did something bad..." I basically whispered as I walked into the room. It was only him in there- thank God- and as he looked up at me he looked as though he was going to make a joke but when he saw my face he immediately stopped himself.

"What did you do?"

Oh boy. What a question. Honestly at this point what didn't I do? Born with XX chromosomes, I realized at a young age that I wasn't happy with my body. When I learned what transgender was, in middle school, I had an epiphany. Couldn't transition through high school because of my mother, that's when I met Mark. He was the only one there for me. My best friend. Calling me by my name instead of my birth name, using my pronouns, talking about girls with me when I thought I was straight. Brought me with him to LA when YouTube became his life. He started helping me transition.

"I kissed him. I know you told me not to even tell him how I felt but I did and we kissed. He kissed back until he remembered 'Oh wait, I'm kissing a dude,'" I tried to make a joke but Mark wasn't having it. He put his face in his hands. I couldn't tell what he was feeling. I'm usually very good at those things but not tonight.

"Y/n... Just tell me what happened."

I drove Ethan home from the office because his car had been acting up. I didn't mind, I loved spending time with him.