The Mick; Chip Pemberton

Chapter 1 - pilot

*Unedited*
Chloe's pov

I was standing beside the stage as my best friend and neighbour, chip pemberton was giving a speech. "Relax, Mom,It's only cider " chip said as he did a toast, "Hello, everyone.I'm Chip Pemberton and this is my best friend, Chloe Wilcox . I live right up there.In the spirit of Labour Day, let's give it up to the real labourers, the caterers, - the valet, and" he said and I zoned out. all of a sudden there was a shout. "FBI! We have a warrant for the arrest of Christopher and Pamela Pemberton and Bruce and Ruth Wilcox for fraud" I heard the man say, what the heck my parents are being arrested!"

"So your parents are safe and they just wanted to see if I could spend a little time with you guys while this whole thing gets sorted" Mackenzie said. "It will get sorted, okay? And when it does, those FBI pigs will be the ones rotting in jail" chip said as he wrapped his arm around me. "yeah, our parents are thifhy rich, they will handle this!" I said. "Mommy and Daddy are in jail?" ben asked when chip removed his arm and bent down to his height. "The scales of justice tip in favour of the wealthy. If we throw enough money at this thing, I'm sure it will go away. And then we'll sue their asses for defamation, okay?" Chip asked. "Okay. So, I have an idea. Ooh! Why don't we all just hunker down and play poker all night long, until this whole thing blows over?" Mackenzie asked. "That's not gonna work for me. Yeah, I'm gonna go to this fund-raiser for Planned Parenthood. Probably crash at my friend's place, go to the city tomorrow. So just don't expect to see me too much. You know, we probably won't see each other at all. But hey, let's catch up again in ten years when you need another loan." Sabrina said as I high fived her. "Listen, Sabrina, I got a lot riding on this gig, so can you do me a favour and not be a big, giant, pain in the ass, please, and Chloe I know your not my sisters kid but you my sisters kids best friend and also your mom wants me to look after you as well so watch it" Mackenzie said. "Maybe you don't know this, but Planned Parenthood provides health care to over three million women in this country." Sabrina said, I stifled a laugh as chips arm returned around my waist. "Oh, sweetie, I know all about Planned Parenthood. I should have one of those punch cards that gets you a free sub every ten visits." Mackenzie said. "gross" I said. "No, I just meant I-I never got, like uh I just had a bunch of bacterial infect you know what?" Mackenzie said, "ew" me and Sabrina said. "The point is, you want to make a difference? Go out on the front line, right? Chain yourself to a redwood, light yourself on fire. Just not tonight, understood? " Mackenzie said."I'm sorry, were you saying something? I was distracted by how uneven your eyebrows are." Sabrina said walking of. after that me and chip went to his room where I could possibly be staying for the next few days.

"What's the matter with her?" ben asked, "I think she's dead" chip answered. "She's not dead, I can see her breathing." Sabrina said, suddenly I had a heart attack and quickly wrapped my arms around chip. "Oh, hey, You guys are home. Cool. What's everybody thinking for dinner?" Mackenzie said as she sat up. "We just ate breakfast." ben said. "You were like this when we came home from school yesterday" I said as I released my embrace from chip. "Huh? Well, where's Alba?" Mackenzie asked and we all shrugged our shoulders. "All right, well, uh good morning. What's that crap on your head?" mackenize said An owl, it's our mascot." ben said as I lifted him up and put him on my hip. " We're unveiling a live one today at assembly" chip said, "It's gonna be awesome" I said. "It's not gonna be awesome, it's sick. He's gonna be trapped in a cage while a bunch of morons poke him and feed him gummy bears." Sabrina said. "Ugh! Change the record. This song sucks." Mackenzie said. "How would you feel if someone ripped you off your barstool and threw you in a cage?" Sabrina said. "I cannot count the number of times I've been ripped off a barstool and thrown in a cage." Mackenzie said. "Cool story. We're gonna head out, okay? Give our regards to the groom" me and Sabrina said. "Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah how about I drive you guys? Should probably get out of the house, yesterday kind of got away from me" mickey said.

We arrived at school and I was in the middle between Ben and chip. "Get in there, you bastard, let's go it, there, here we are"Micky said trying to turn the car off. Sabrina got out, "bye, Sabrina, have a great day, I love you, auntie loves you all day long" Mackenzie saw as Sabrina was walking into school. I got out and waited for chip, then Steffi came up when chip was getting out. Fun. Steffi has a crush on chip and if you'd haven't guessed yet I kind of have a crush on him to. "Morning chip" steffi said as I rolled my eyes, "hey, steffi" chip said back, "yeah hey, steffi, bye, steffi, come in chip we gotta go" I said trying get him to come, "how's it going" steffi said trying to keep him to stay, "sup chippy, chloe? How are you parents enjoying the clink? Oh" geno pinero said and he pushed chip towards the car and messed up my hair and pushing me aswell, "freaking geno pinero" I said hitting the car, "I hate that guy" chip said as he also hit the car. "Yeah? Well do something about it" mickey said, "like what? The guy is a maniac" I roared at Micky. "He stuck a garden hose up Danny clerkin's butt and the water shot out of his nose" chip said, "okay, well that didn't happen, but I'm delighted that the rumour exists, look you two, next time he gives either on of you crap, yank his pants down and point and his tiny pecker, that'll do it" Micky said holding up her finger laughing, "you're insane, okay? He-he'll pound us!" Chip said, "no! Humour trumps violence. Trust me, Girls want the funny guy" Micky said as I pulled chip into school.

Me and chip walked in the front door, I had a black eye and chip was bleeding where pinero punched him in the nose and it hadn't stopped, i was trying in the way home. "Oh great, what happened to you" Micky asked, "I'll tell you what happened, I tried to trump violence with humour, and violence won by a landslide" chip said, "okay that explains you, now you" Micky said pointing toward me to explain my self. "Well when my best friend was getting pounded by pinero, I was trying to break it up and got punched square in the eye and it's all your fault." I said. "Oh well clearly you didn't do it right, did you remember to laugh at his tiny penis? That parts pretty important" Micky said, "it was humongous! I'm lucky he didn't beat me with it" chip shouted. "Okay, I, uh you two just go put steaks on your faces or something, I don't know." Micky said. "Sabrina, can you please try and think for a second?" Micky asked, "your the one who told me to get out on the front lines" Sabrina said, "well don't, I give terrible advice everybody knows that" Micky said pointing towards me and chip. "Look at us! We're grotesque!" Chip shouted, "Were so going to sue his ass" I said and chip agreed. "For what?" Micky asked, "battery and then I'm going to sue the school for negligence" chip argued back, "okay, pipe down alright, you're not going to sue your way into this girls pants, or Chloe's" Micky said, "oh yeah? Watch me" chip shouted as he pulled me into the kitchen.

We walked back into the main hall, "oh my, what did you do to them?" Liz said the cocky lady who lives at the other side of the Pemberton's. "No I didn't do that, he got pounded at school for checking out some kids wiener and she got pounded becuase she was helping him"Micky said, "becuase of you, now steffi thinks I'm a joke and geno has the reddest freaking dong in school" chip shouted.  "Okay" Liz said, "Micky, can I have some more ice cream" Ben said as he came in with his face swollen, Jesus Christ Micky, the kids allergic. "Oh, oh that's it I'm calling the cops" Liz said, I zone out, turns out the security guard tasered Liz and alba smashed the security guard over the head with a vase and Sabrina left with a owl, then Micky went to get Sabrina. I took Ben and chip up stairs first of all to give Ben medication for eating ice cream to make the swelling go down and then I carefully cleaned chips face.

We were all eating dinner when Micky got a phone call. We're we're eating silently until she came back, "you okay? You don't look so hot? I mean you never look great but right now you look like actively bad" Sabrina said "no I'm fine Sabrina thank you for your concern, how are you" Micky asked, "I'm awesome, this chicken is fantastic" Sabrina said, "oh sweetheart, that's not chicken" Micky said and me and chip laughed then we caught on, "um" we said and we both pushed our dinner into the middle of the table and then Micky and Sabrina were looking at each other and Sabrina's face dropped knowing she wasn't joking.

That night I was staying in chips room again, I lay on the right side of his bed and he was on the left, I drifted to sleep, beside my best friend, who I like, but he likes steffi, fun.