Pull and Release || H.S

Chapter 1: My First Attempt at Permanent Foreverness

It's hard to say how the rest of my life is going to pan out. First of all, I'm not going for higher education. I don't have the funds nor the motivation to continue high school for another 4 years. But let's be honest, high school never ends. There's always someone above you, always someone talking about you behind your back, and you'll forever care what other people think of you. Whether you let them know you care or not.
I woke up at 8:30 this morning, while one of my many skills is sleeping, I don't like to sleep my day away. I do enjoy going outside and being a functioning part of society. I'm sorry, I can't say that with a straight face. While I do enjoy waking up early as much as the next 19 year old, I do have a job. It's not my forever "big girl" job, but you've got to start somewhere right? I grabbed my visor and my apron and I headed out the door.
Before you assume anything, NO, I don't work at Starbucks. That's so cliche I can't believe you actually thought I'd put that on my resume. Yes, the girl with long blonde hair, tattoos, and a bad smoking habit works at Starbucks. Yeah right. I do work at a coffee shop, it just isn't Starbucks. While I'm all about the hipster view of life, I like to maintain a certain amount of predictability. While I admire your optimism in my abilities to find a nice job at such a young age, I must admit that I don't live in the biggest city. I live in a small town called Clinton, New Jersey. Yep, about an hour away from New York City and one of the smallest towns known to man. Well, it feels small.
I walk to work, I have a car but it's only a 20 minute walk so I figure I'll save a few bucks on gas and do my part to preserve the environment. I dug around in my purse looking for my carton of cigarettes, pulled the box from it's usual pocket and instantly hated today. Empty. I check my FitBit for the time, it's 9 o'clock on the dot. I have time to stop at the nearest gas station and get a pack before I have to punch in. I walked for a few blocks until I got to Murphy's Stop & Shop. "Hey Murphy, how are you today?" I asked the store owner who was always sitting at the counter with his eyes plastered to the newest issue of Sports Illustrated. "Nice to see you're tending to business as usual." He was completely ignoring me. "I need a pack of Southern Cuts please." I said passing him a $10 bill.
He maintained his gaze and turned around on his stool, grabbed the package, a slight shift on his hip as he slid the carton of tobacco packed tubes over the counter without a single word. As I said, this is a small town. Murphy has known me since I was born, he never checked my I.D.
This was the kind of town that didn't do chains. If the name was on the sign, odds are the owner worked there as well. My change came soon after the pack was given to me. "You need a lighter?" Murphy mumbled from behind the magazine.
"Actually, yeah." I said patting my pockets realizing I'd left my lucky lighter back on my desk. "How much do I owe you?" I asked.
"It's on the house, Charlotte." He said sliding over the ugliest lighter I've ever seen before in my life. The background was black though. So I'll probably end up peeling the ugly sticker off by the end of the day.
"Murphy, how many times do I have to tell you... You can call me Charlie. Thanks for the lighter. See ya round." I said turning to leave the store.
"And how many times do I have to tell you, Charlotte is the name on your birth certificate, it's the name on your name tag. It is the name that I am going to call you. Take the lighter, and get outta here." Murphy said loudly. I chuckled and went on my way.
I pulled the plastic off the cigarettes and tapped the package against the base of my thumb. I flipped the lid of the carton and lifted one half-way out of the container, folding my lips around it and full extracting it from the card stock box. I lifted the lighter to my lips and began my first drag of nicotine in the past 10 hours. If you're a smoker, you know how orgasmic that sensation is. Instant relaxation. For me at least.
I slipped the lighter back in my pocket and checked the time. 9:30, I'm right on time. A few more blocks and I'll be at work, then in a few hours I'll make the trek back to my parents house.. God knows how much I want to move out, that's why I'm working as much as I am. I'm ready to move out and be on my own. I'm 19 years old and I have 4 siblings, and one more on the way because my parents have no other hobby than to go at it like rabbits. Disgusting, I know. My mom was 19 when she had me, and I'll be 20 in a few months. So she's rather young I guess. I dunno I'd rather not talk about my mom in a negative light, I'm not always her biggest fan but she tried her best to do right by me. There's me, my younger sister Lilly, my younger brother Christian, my youngest brother Elijah, and my youngest sister Vivian. We aren't sure what the soon-to-be sibling is yet, or as my mom calls it "Littlest spawn". My mom's only 3 months pregnant so we haven't gotten that far.
I walked into the back door of Giovanna's Coffee House and Bakery, picking my name card out of the stack of cards laying on a table next to a time-punch machine and placed in inside. 9:45am was placed on my card as I pulled it back out and put it back in the stack. I threw my hair in a messy bun and plopped my visor on top of my head. Threw my apron over my neck and wrapped the strings around my waist, They were too long to just tie around my back, so I pulled them to the front and tied a bow. I grabbed a fresh note pad and a pen, reporting to the counter where I would remain for the next 6 hours.
People came and went for the next few hours, the little bell on the door getting more and more annoying with every person who came in. "Can I have a plain bagel with strawberry cream cheese?" I heard a deep voice say from over the counter.
"I dunno, can you?" I asked sarcastically looking up and biting my tongue realizing what I had just said. "I'm sorry, it's been a long day. I'll get your bagel." I said without looking up. I quickly whipped up the bagel, putting a little too much cream cheese on it before sliding it into a bag and passing it over the counter. "$2.50." I said handing him the bag.
    "Thanks, keep the change." I looked up and saw a warm smile, dimples deeper than craters on the moon, emerald green eyes that seemed to be piercing my soul, and chocolate brown curls held back by a grey beanie. "Have a good one." He said turning to leave.
    "Yeah, you too." I said kicking myself for not getting his name.