Wish You Were Here [The Fault in our Stars]

The Beginning and the End

      Hazel sat at her desk in her room. It was Valentine's Day. This day comes every year, and usually she paid it no mind, but this time it was different. Her heart ached, something was missing.

      Augustus.

     She sighed, pulling out a notebook and ripping a page out. Hazel took a pen and began to write. If she didn't get this off of her chest it would kill her. Not that it mattered, she was already dying.

      Dear Augustus, she wrote. Hazel frowned. What else was she supposed to write? Her thoughts were all jumbled together. There was so much that she hadn't gotten to say to him.

     Hazel stood up and went over to her radio that sat on her bedside table. She clicked it on. A song was playing.

    How I wish, how I wish you were here,
     We're just two lost souls,
   Swimming in a fish bowl,
   Year after year,
   Running over the same old ground,
    And how we found,
    The same old fears,
   Wish you were here,

      She went back over to her desk and sat down, taking her pen back in her hand. She began to write. 

       Dear Augustus,
    I miss you. You have no idea how much I do. It's Valentine's Day. It's not the same without you. Sometimes I feel like you are still here, still alive, still beside me. But you aren't. You are gone. Are you in a better place? Are you happy? I hope you are.
  
    I wish you were here. We all do. It's lonely here without you. It's boring. There's no more smiles, there's no more laughter. It's dark. It's like a dark cloud that won't go away. It hovers over me. I know you are better and happier where you are at, but I just wish you didn't have to go. I wish you could have stayed just a little longer. You left too soon. Way too soon.
     
       At this point, tears began to fall from Hazel's cheeks, smearing the ink on the paper. This definitely wasn't going to win the prettiest Valentine reward. If that even was a thing.

       She continued.

      The doctors think I'm going to go soon too. They said there's nothing left they can do for me. It's spreading faster than they can stop it. It's okay though, I'm not sad. Dying doesn't scare me anymore. My parents are sad, I don't want them to be sad. I feel worse for them then I do for myself. They told me it's okay though. They say they aren't mad at me, that it's not my fault. They say dying is normal and nothing to be scared of. I already know that though. You taught me that.
     
      I know that when I die I'll be with you again. So, in some ways, I think I'm looking forward to it. I just don't want to leave my parents. They did nothing to deserve this pain and heartache. It's a part of life though. And I understand that now.
      
      I just wish you were here. I really really miss you. I hate that you had to leave so soon. But it's okay. I'll see you soon. I know we'll be together again, eventually. I can't wait to see you again. Then I can give you a real Valentine's present. Maybe they have chocolate where you are at. I bet it tastes amazing if they do. Do they have chocolate there? I can't wait to find out.
      
       Then I can give you some.

      That's when Hazel's mom called out from downstairs. "Hazel! It's time for dinner! I made your favorite!"
      Hazel wiped the tears away from her cheeks, "Okay! Coming!"

      I have to go now. Mom says dinner is ready. She made my favorite. She's been making all my favorite foods. I think it's because she thinks I'll be going soon. That's okay though, I might as well die on a full stomach.
    
      I'll go now. I hope you know how much I love and miss you.
    
      I'll see you soon. Okay? Okay.
              Love,
             Hazel Grace.

     She sighed and leaned back in her chair, looking over her work. It'll do.
    Hazel looked up at the ceiling with a smile on her face, "I'll see you soon. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day, Augustus."

     And with that she got up and went down to dinner.