"Darren where have you been all night".
"None of your damn business".
"I'm your wife I was worried sick about you".
"I you must know I went to the bar with a few friends".
"Are you cheating on me".
Darren approached me slowly and slapped me to the ground
I started to sob my cheek was throbbing
"Don't you under stand Ellis I don't love you anymore".
I just layed there sobbing almost numb to the touch
That was the first time he hit me but not the last
I cried all night nearly I went downstairs for a glass of water and looked in the mirror as the water ran down the sink will touch my cheek
briefly. And I all of us felt normal this is going to be my everyday today life and I had to get used to it or fight back. I don't think I can anymore go on maybe because. Maybe because the
alcohol was consumed that night costume do those things to me I don't feel better. I don't feel solitude I don't feel angry no longer maybe. through the pain and which has caused me I will go to work the next day. I will not feel like it's my fault for accusing him
of such things. Maybe it is my fault maybe he was just hanging out with a couple of co-workers. The me I had to say something I had to say something. And this is where it's gotten me. I realize it's going to be morning soon so I decided to slowly approach my bedroom. I want to decide against it but it was futile. I don't know whether to love him or to hate him. I don't know what love is anymore because this is not it. I feel that I'm making a
mistake staying. I can't leave just yet I want to stick it out for my marriage. I don't want to live alone forever. I decided to brew myself book of a cup of coffee. As I slowly drink the hot
liquid I thought. I love him even though he is and. This is new to me the abuse has only just started. I wish I would have seen it sooner. Before we got married a happy time. I dreamed of love and happiness with him now he's became some kind of monster. I noticed the lipstick stains
on his collar has as he stumbles through the door. I don't know what to think I guess I'll after all the weeks of. Of being ignored coming home late I thought to myself why am I not cheating. If there is not what I need right now but it could be a change. Maybe he'll find out and if you so start
all over again. I can't deal with that right now does it matter. He's my husband after all I can't afford to lose you only thing I have going for myself right now which is my marriage. If
my mother ever found out she would look down on me for cheating. She's expecting grandchildren but I'm not giving her any. not with this monster. But she adores him constantly giving him compliments.
Coffee helps me think at night.
It's helping me keep my mind off what will happen in the morning. I will have to conceal my face. I deserve better.
