Succulent |Completed|

Fourteen

How is it my choice? How do I go back?

"When you're ready." She can read my mind. Great.

"I'm not a mind reader, I just know the look." Sure fooled me.

"You can be happy with him. I know he made me happy." I sit and think about this.

Rory has made me happy. But do I make him happy? Or is he like Lionel? Only likes me as an acquaintance.

"I did love him you know."

Then why? Why Lionel?

"I didn't deserve him. I knew I didn't. I wasn't like him, I struggled with so many things, and he always wanted to help me. I didn't want my burdens to fall on him. He's too sensitive. Always has been. I didn't know how to love him. But Lionel, he took that pain away."

I let this sink in. She seems so... sad. Like she doesn't want to stay here without him. She can have a life with him, but she's choosing to let it go.

"I knew about you. Before I died. Lionel talked about you. What he said in the hospital wasn't how he truly felt, he was just hurt. He cared a lot about you."

Sure seemed like it.

I say this with an eye roll.

"He did. He always took care of you. It's true he didn't have a romantic love for you, but he always thought of you like a sister. Death can change people. It changed him. He lost the two people he cared for the most, and he chose me because I was the smarter choice. I was his true love."

Great. I'm the side hoe.

"Sorry. I'm only telling the truth."

I know that. I know she's telling me this so I'll go back, but do I want to? I may not even remember this. I'll wake up and think of Lionel the same way as before all of this, and I can't do that.

You can go back.

"I've already told you-"

Fix your mistake. Everyone deserves a second chance. You will make him happier than I will.

"That's not true Lex. I can't go back. I made my choice, Lionel was wrong. Your body cannot be my vessel, only yours. My soul has already reached the point of no return. I'm stuck in la la land." She smiles sadly.

"But you can make a choice. It has to be now. So make the right one."

I just want Rory to be happy. That's all I ever wanted. And I don't think I can make him happy. But as I look at the screen, I want to be selfish- I want to be with him. Because maybe I love him too.

He's made me happier than I've ever been. Even with Lionel. I can't leave my little Succulent all by himself.

But I don't want to forget. Is it even possible to get that lucky?

This isn't the real world. Once I go back will I remember? Or will Rory be a distant figure?

I choose to go back.

She smiles, and it's a happy smile. As if she's proud of me.

"I'm glad. Live life Lex. And don't make my mistakes."

And then next thing I know, it's blank. It's darker than I've ever seen. And I am in so much pain. I hear myself screaming and I sound like an animal. My head is pounding, my heart is hammering, my stomach is in so much pain. My body feels exhausted, like I've lived through a million wars.

I hear beeping, it's very faint, but I think it's my heartbeat. My eyelids are so heavy. I can barely lift them.

"Rory?"