Journey to Somewhere Safe

Chapter 1

I finish packing up my boxes and hand them to my dad to take them to the truck to have them shipped to my mums i have one more week to go until i leave to move there I can not wait until I get out of new york there are so many good memories but there are more bad memories than the good ones. I put the clothes i am going to travel with into a suitcase and then what i am going to wear on the plane by my bed i can not wait till i get there i have not seen my mum in what feels like years and i can not wait to get on a plane and put my problems behind me there are so many things that i am wanting to forget that i really need to forget that i am willing to forget which i will once i leave here and get to be myself well as much of myself that i can bring back from all the depressing times there are things that nobody knows which i might open up to someone some day but i have to be able to fully trust that person which might be really hard sometimes because i trust no one after what had happened to me but one day i do hope to find someone that i can finally trust with all of my secrets without them judging me or being sorry and looking at me like i am a victim  because i am not a victim i am a survivor just because something bad happened does not mean i am a victim to something i survived it i am still living am i not i did not die well on the inside i did but i am going to work on coming back to my old happy self and i hope that the baby's are going to help bring that happiness back. I have not given jake a chance to talk to me at all i did online school and then graduated and now i barely show my face out in public i refuse to there is no way i will tell him i am pregnant because then he might try and fight for custody and i do not want them near their father well he is not their father he was a forced sperm donor that gave me two little bundles of joy. They are twins but there is a boy and a girl and here are their names Jacob-Tyler and Mariana-Rose i do not know why i chose those names i just really love both of the combinations together i am really happy that i only have two well three more weeks until they take their first breath and they will take their first glance of the world we live in. Just thinking about that makes me smile I pull out my phone and laptop and i turn my phone one for the first time in about two weeks and once i turn it on there is no stopping all of the notifications and it take about 15 minutes before the noise stops i turn my computer on and then go on facebook through there and i see so many people have texted me in the past well few months i have tried to stay off all social media and if i do go on i private the account i use so only certain people can see my account so yeah it sucks having to worry all of the time but i can not have HIM be able to try and convince or manipulate me into going to him and being with him that has happened way to many times i will not put up with it anymore because i shouldn't have to  because that stuff should have never happened but i finish packing my last box and i have a smile on my face one more week and switerland here i come :)