The Coldest Views || Rihanna & Drake

02. Coping

October 2016
Somewhere on a tour bus
6:45 AM

Drake:

"So you telling me she didn't even try to listen?" 40 asked as he stuffed his raw sheet with grade A. I sat back sipping a healthy glass of Virginia Black whiskey as my tour bus drove to the next city.

"Man hell no. She's just too fucked up. I'm done with her." I brushed my hands together.

40 sighed, shaking his head. "Now who you tryna convince bro? Me or yourself?"

Who was I kidding? I was definitely still in love with that girl. I had been all these years, love like that didn't just go away.

I just hated that we were here now. I felt like we should be at the exact opposite point of where we were right now.

"Whatever man. She's too damaged and I guess it's gonna take a stronger man than me to deal with that shit, cause I can't." I shook my head.

40 got up and began pacing on the bus back and forth. I watched him as he puffed smoke into the air.

"So she just flipped out over some social media bullshit? It just don't sound like Rih." He mumbled.

Okay so maybe a bit of this was my fault. Now before you jump to assumptions, no I didn't fuck any girls or cheat.

But I did show someone some attention that I shouldn't have. It was harmless to me. But to Robyn, it definitely was not.

"Well you know India and I always been cool-"

40 cut me off. "India Love? The chick everybody runs through...including you?"

I laughed. "Bro it wasn't like that. That was like 2 or 3 years ago. Seriously though, when the blogs broke the news about me hanging with her, shit hit the fan."

I could see how it looked. Me hanging with a chick I already smashed, arm around her shoulder, but there was nothing between us...just friendship.

Robyn didn't believe that for one second. She knew about my past and how I rolled in my younger days but since reconnecting with her this past year, I was all about her.

Got her a huge ass billboard VMA week. Brought her out on half my tour. But none of that mattered to a woman like Robyn. A woman scorned to the bone and filled with so much hurt.

I wanted to be the one to scoop her up and save her but I wasn't even sure if she was worth saving anymore.

"Well bro...honestly you can't just be hanging with known hoes when your girl is Rihanna, especially a chick you fucked.  First off she's crazy, and will probably cut your dick off and secondly your dick was inside this India chick. Red flag number 2." He finally took a seat.

He reached the joint out to me but I waved my hand declining.

"So I can't have friends? I'm not with that dictating shit. Robyn wants it her way or the highway and I can't be controlled like that."

He ashed the joint in a nearby glass as he spoke. "Then you don't want her." He simply stated. "I think you like the idea of her...but not the reality. Because in reality, she got fucked over and you know that. Bro the world knows that. She's hurt...not damaged."

I side eyed him, slapping his white, bald head. "Nigga who's side you on?" I asked.

He pointed the lit joint in my face. "Hit me again and I'll shave the shit outta that beard." We both laughed in unison.

"Nah real talk though, I miss the shit out of that girl." I buried my face in my hands. What was I doing?

October 2016
Beverly Hills, CA
3:45 AM

Robyn:

I grabbed the bottle of Jack off my nightstand and pulled the blunt away from lips to take swig.

I swallowed, letting the alcohol numb me completely. I hated that I was here, heart on my sleeve, completely dismantled.

Guess that's what I get for being so naive and letting him back in.

The first go around I admit it was me. I just wasn't ready to give myself to anyone. But of course when I finally let my guard down, he let me down.

The part I hated most was the fact that my heart was so open to this man and I still loved his stupid ass.

Another sip, another puff until I was faded enough to not feel too much of anything. That was how I liked it anyway.

No feelings. No heartbreak.

I looked over at the clock that read 2:45 AM. I already knew I wasn't sleeping tonight. I hadn't the last three that he'd been gone.

Fuck. I hated that these last nine months of my happiness revolved around a man. Especially since the last 4 years I closed myself off from real relationships. Now I was feeling like shit.

I hadn't even expected to fall so hard for him this time around. We never had anything serious but this time was so...different. I almost felt like he was trying to prove something to me this time around.

Like he could actually change for me, clearly he couldn't.

The first few weeks I'm away from him and he's seen with a bitch. Buddied up, arm around her shoulder.

He knew how I was, and that shit wasn't going to fly. Especially a bitch he fucked. I'm sorry, I didn't see the friendship in the equation.

I looked over at my phone as it buzzed on the bed. I rolled my eyes picking it up. The liquor had me seeing double but when my vision steadied I focused my eyes on a text.

Aubrey: Can we talk?

I huffed, rolling my eyes screenshotting  his text, quickly forwarding it to my best friends Melissa and Jen in a group chat.

R: Bitches! Should I respond? Or nah
M: Reply
J:  Right, you know you love that lil vanilla pudding cup.

I chuckled out loud at Jen.

R: Fine but Ima be short asf
M: Bitch stop being petty...like damn I'm tryna get a brother in law

I switched back to his thread, putting my pride aside and texting him back.

R: Yeah
2 minutes
D: This is dumb Rih. I love you... all  of this is bullshit and you know it.
15 minutes
R: Mmm. Guess it is what it is
3 minutes.
D: Nah it's not. I'm flying back to see you on my off day Friday.  We're going to talk about this.
26 minutes
R: We can talk...I guess
2 minutes
D: I'll call you when I'm back in LA.

I didn't bother responding because quite frankly his ass didn't deserve it. He did however, deserve to be heard so I was going to give him that much.

I had this bad habit of not listening though so I hope for his sake he had something to say.