trapped

trouble

         you woke up on top of jeno while holding onto the middle of his white T-shirt. worried that your parents would get pissed and scared because you got dragged away from an older boy that also stabbed you. "shes in here". you heard a voice whisper. it sounded very familiar. "taeyong, is that you" you shouted. "(Y//////////N) GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE". oh god, its your mom. your mothers uneasy voice awoke jeno. "oppa, my mother's here" you started tearing up a LOT. "jagi dont cry, i'll try to handle this¨.while you two were thinking about how you wold handle this jeno was holding you tight and stroking your hair(pfft CHEEEESY). 

         when you and jeno got downstairs taeyong was worried that you wouldn't be able to see another guy in your life, including jeno. you eyes were red and swollen from all of the crying. your mother grabbed your arm and you both went to her car.

         "why did you run with that boy" ? you didn't answer. "WHY" ?! she screamed. "because... BECAUSE I LOVE  HIM". you started crying realizing what you had just done. "honey, you might think you love him but y-"you cut her off as she was speaking in a calm tone "i dont think i love him *sniffle* i know i love him". "Y/N, LISTEN TO ME, love isen't real, its just a game that your brain plays with you, you never win in the end". "your only saying that because dad left you for a slut" you crossed your arms looking up to see tears running down your mothers face. she stops the car "get out" she firmly says "mom, im sor-" "no your not, we NEVER speak of you father, got that? your walking home". you stepped one foot out of her car " also, you will never, you hear me? ever see jeno or anyone in sm EVER again" "eomma, you cant" "yes i can, now go and when i get home i'll think of a punishment" 

         you got home and went straight to your room crying horribly with your cold numb fingers hoping you wouldn't see your mothers face. 

         the next morning you went to school not hearing or seeing your mom. when you got there you were called over to the principals office. "y/n, please report to the main office". when you reached you were handed a new schedule. your whole schedule was changed. you had no classes with jeno, not even lunch, now your having lunch with the older kids. what your mom did was terrible. 

         when the day was over you went to the sm studios. you went to the front desk to check in. "whats your name"? "(y/n)" "parents phone number"? "(y/p/p/n) "oh sorry (y/n), we got a call from your mom saying that you cant come here no matter what". you stood there frozen feeling like you were in a living hell. tears ran down your blank face. 

         you stayed at the lobby for a few hours with your face in your wet knees when you heard the voice of jeno and a few of his hyungs talking. once he got down the stairs you buried your face in his thick sweatshirt and hugged him tightly while getting his sweatshirt wet in your non stopping tears. he returned the favor. "oppa, y-you did this to us, now i can never see you again"  "im sorry, im a mess" ḧe said while rubbing your back "oppa, im not supposed to be here" "oppa, i have no one to run to". everyone froze, even jeno. "what do you mean"he said worried. "l mean you are the only ones i have and i cant go anywhere but to my mother" "what about your father" "my father? i dont have one. he left me and my mother 10 years ago for a prostitute". jeno held you closer as you felt a heavy tear drop onto you head. "saranghae and i dont want anything to happen to you" "its to late now". he lifted your chin, "listen to me, no matter where i am i have your back and i will always love you" you nodded. he pulled his lips closer to yours and gave you a soft loving kiss, pulled back and did it again but this time it was longer. he bit your lip and tugged on it and put the hand that was on your chin behind you head and rubbed your neck while the other was on your back pulling you two closer. you never felt this way before. being loved completely was a new feeling for you so was being loved by many. the longer the heartfelt kiss was the deeper it got. you forgot all about your worries and loved hmi back but stopped. you stopped because your lip was getting swollen and red and it was kind of hurting. "im not sorry" jeno said "so i guess this is where people got that saying "love hurts" from. you both laughed at your cheesy joke even though you were not happy. you felt trapped inside but when you were with jeno you felt a little at ease.

         a few weeks passed without jeno and you were stressed out, sad, couldn't focus, could't eat because you weren't hungry at all, but you were always thinking of the future and i it will get better or worse for you. you  if jeno had forgot about you.

        you asked your mom is you could go to a psychiatrist to see what is going on with you. she agreed and didn't seem to care

       it was friday and after school you mom picked you up to see Dr. Choi Soo hyeon at madame antioine. as you walked inside it was small and cozy with couches and chairs that remined you of a cozy cabin and smiles everywhere. you looked around and saw a handsome guy in his twenties solving a rubix cube a lady that seems to be in her mid thirties, and 5 or  6 other people.

         the doctor led you upstairs. when you got upstairs you examined the room. the art was messy yet perfect and the room was white.

         you told him all of the what has been going on lately even the kiss you had with jeno and the doctor seemed very understanding. "when did your negitive thoughts start"? "a couple weeks ago" "ahh, ok. it seems to me that you are beginning  stage two of depression" "what? depression" "yes, stage two is when the middle among stages of depression is characterized by considerable changes in the work of all organs. The production of the hormone of happiness – serotonin is decreased and stopped. The depressed person refused to eat, this fact leads to a significant weight loss but on the bright side your body looks healthy." "how do i help stop this"? "you need to do simple things like exercise daily and interact with people often. i know you have no one now but you should make more friends, also listen to music that relaxes you while meditating, its good for your mind. "thank you very much" "your welcome, come to me in the next two weeks, i want to know how or if you improve" "ah, wait, sangnim(doctor), can you explain to me what love is?" "well, love isn't real, it's just a manipulation of the brain " "ohh" you say looking around the cozy room.

        two weeks passed and you still hadn't heard from jeno, you were scared that he wasn't alive. 

         about 4 months passed and it seemed like sm just disappeared from this planet. you run far in anger to the same place jeno took you when you had you first kisses. you kept crying non stop while running. you mom was at work like always and thats probably one of the reasons why you two cant get along.you got to the shore "WAEEE" "WHAT DID I DO"? "WAEAeaea". you sobbed so much that you fell over. you got back up. "OPPAAAA WHERE ARE YOU"? you were banging the sand and it got in your eyes so you kept crying from the pain in your heart and your eyes. "AHHHHHHHH, WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS"?you felt terrible. 

      you lay down admiring the scenery in they cold shivering when you feel a oversized jacket gracefully fall on your sholders "meanae, saranghae" you hear a familiar voice whisper in you ear, it wasn't jeno, it was haechan. "huh, h-haechan-iss, why so sudden, you know i love jeno" "hes not here" "where is he"? " hes super busy" "and that a good excuse for missing 789 calls and 1043 text in for 4 months" "nae" "hes an idol. since you happened he was forced to work harder so he wouldn't get distarcted, harsh right". you nodded and laid you head on him lap and you both watched as the pinkish blue waves flow by. 

i had a brain fart so i stopped for a little bit(as you can tell by that shortage of letters at the end and the swapping of letters and the bad grammar).