Love War and Becoming a Teacher

When pain hurts

Your POV
It was late at night before I finally stumbled into my dorm room feeling nothing but shock. The lights were off and I could see Nora fast asleep holding her creepy black teddy bear with a hammer, closely to her chest. I quietly made my way to my own bed and laid down even though sleep would not be visiting me tonight. I felt sick to my stomach and I was still shaking after the events minuets earlier. I had already decided I wasn't going to tell anyone what had happened. Karma was too stressed out, he didn't need another thing added to all of that, and well...no one could change what had happened. Professor Mandosa wouldn't get fired if I told the board, or another professor. This was college, and I was an E, no one would care. I had convinced myself that since I wasn't a virgin, it didn't really matter what had happened, but somehow it only made me feel worse. Just thinking about it made my stomach turn and before I knew what was happening, I flew out of my bed and was in the bathroom puking my guts out and crying softly. I wrapped my arms around my shivering body and I just sat on the white and blue tiled floor wondering what I was going to do. Kuro Sensei, what would you tell me right now? But of course I had no answer, Kuro Sensei was dead, and this wasn't high school. This was hell.
"YN?" A knock came from the bathroom door. "Are you okay?" Nora's tired voice came from the other side of the wood.
"F...fine." I mangled to stutter out without bursting into tears yet again. "J...just s...sick." I tried not to stammer but I failed miserably. "Sorry f..for waking you." A shiver spiked down my spine as I lied.
"Oh. Do you want me to grab Karma.." Nora began but before she could finish I was already answering.
"NO!" I panicked, feeling queasy yet again. "N..no, he's b..busy, and if he's not, he's sleeping." I explained.
    "Hmm." Nora hummed in suspicion. I knew she was frowning, knowing something was up. But thankfully she didn't push.
    I began to breath heavy, nearly hyperventilating before leaning back over the toilet and throwing up what little was left in my stomach. I felt disgusting, like my skin was crawling and I couldn't get it to stop.
    "Well..." Nora sighed, most likely scratching her head. "Let me know if you need anything okay?"
    "O..okay." I closed my eyes and ran my hand thorough my hair. I sat against the wall and let tears break through my closed eye lids and fall down my face. The cold night seemed to last forever as seconds turned into hours and all I did was cry softly, and try not to wake Nora.
~~~
Ausuno's POV
    I woke up to see that Karma had already gone to class. The kid was really starting to irritate me, I have no idea what his problem is, but I would love nothing more than to take his freaking text books and burn the with the fiery rage of the A dorm. Karma normally took off first thing in the morning to get to class as soon as possible, then he would stay at the library all hours of the night.
    I sighed and closed the door to my dorm and was greeted by the girls in the hall way. "Morning." I smiled.
     "Goooooood morning!" Nora greeted as she did an odd salute thing.
    "Hi." YN said softly offering a small smile.
    I raised my eyebrow at YN's preocular behavior, but I didn't think to much about it. After all her boyfriend did just ditch her for a text book.
     "Hey, don't worry about Karma. " I smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure after exams he'll be back to normal." I went to wrap an arm around her comfortingly, but YN was quickly leaning back, eyes wide as if I were about to hit her. However, it only lasted a second.
    "T..thanks Asuno. I...I'll t..try to keep that in ... In mind." YN just barely stammered out, before looking down and quickly walking away.
    I watched her go, and instantly I could tell something wasn't right. It was written all over her body language. The way she avoided eye contact, the way she shuffled her feet as she walked, and never before had I ever, heard YN stammer.
    "Is she ok?" I asked Nora.
    Nora frowned. "I don't know. She was in late last night and she started throwing up...Maybe its stress?"
    "God I hope not." I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. The last thing we needed was to have another person loosing themselves for a grade that meant nothing in the long run.
                                                                            ~~~
    Weeks went by, and YN gradually stopped going to class. Nora noticed first that YN stopped letting anyone touch her. Even a side hug seemed to scare her, and I doubted she had gotten any sleep. YN always looked pale, she always had dark bags under her eyes, and she never seemed to eat.
    It didn't take long for Nora and I to conclude something was very very wrong. I tried to talk to Karma but he brushed it off as 'that time of the month, ' and I was starting to get ferrous.
    Now don't get me wrong, I didn't care what the bastard did, Karma could walk off a cliff for all I care, but something was up with YN, she hadn't went to class in almost a week now, and she just looked sad all the time. Did Karma notice? NO! The asshole was oblivious to his girlfriends troubles, all he did was hibernate in the damned library like a bear in the winter, or Nagisa during swirly week.
Huffing in frustration, I pulled on a light blue flannel shirt and black jeans and sleepily stumbled out the door, only to be met by Nora who was quietly closing the door, frowning.
    "What's up?" I asked.  Nora never frowned, she was like a little bunny on steroids.
    "YN. She's sick again, but I have a really bad feeling Asuno, like she isn't telling me something." Nora shook her head and turned away from the door. "Anyway, lets go to class I have a test on how to back flip off a building without dying." Nora shrugged and began skipping down the hall humming We Will Rock You to herself. I think she was just trying to distract herself.
    "I'll catch up!" I shouted after her as I chuckled and shook my head. I knew what Nora had been talking about, I had had that same uneasy feeling since late last week, and I decided I needed to check on YN myself, especially because she was sick. Without even knocking I cracked the door to the girls' dorm, only to be greeted by the heart braking sound of sobbing.
Your POV
    I didn't know what to do anymore. I tried going on with life, but I just couldn't. I felt gross from the inside out, and I couldn't do anything about it. All the showers I've taken, all the scrubbing I did, couldn't do anything about this sucking feeling I had. All I could do was think, and think I did.
Should I tell Karma?
But what if he hates me?
    What if he doesn't care?
    What if he thinks I'm lying?
    What if he thinks I'm disgusting?
    Worse! What if he thinks it was my fault?
    Was it my fault?
    It was your fault!
    How was it my fault?
    Because you are unclean! You a disgusting and useless!
    Useless?
    Yes USELESS!!!
    Karma is going to hate you.
    He'll dump you.
    It's not like he ever needed you.
    Or wanted you!
    It's true, just look at yourself.
   Ya, just look at me...I'm disgusting.
    I curled into my knees and sobbed. I wanted this disgustingness out of me. I wanted to ooze from my skin and disappear. I wanted to feel ok again! I stood from my bed slowly, and made my way to the bathroom, where I turned on the sink to wash my face once more. Then from the corner of my eye...I caught the site of a razor.
Asuno's POV
    "YN?" I asked, hesitantly opening up the door wider and walking in, the sound of sobs making me ever more concerned. And what I saw...scared me more than anything ever had. YN sat on her bed with her knees to her chest, still in her grey pajama bottoms and yellow t-shirt that read smile more often. In her right hand was a razor blades that was pressed to her lower arm. Blood already covered the sheet beneath her and although YN was clearly in physical pain, she didn't stop.
    To this day I thank the lord I didn't freeze.
    "YN!" I gasped, running into the room and ripping the blade from her hand. "What the hell!?" I shouted.
    "W...what are you doing here?" Asked YN as she seemed to freeze in place, letting me hold her left arm away from her body. "D..don't you have cl..class?" She pushed herself back towards the wall, away from me, but I still held her arm.
    Slowly, I let go as I walked over to Nora's bed, opposite of YN's and sat down. "Ya, I do." I answered as I leaned forward into my knees. "But I think your life is a little more important than learning how to find X. What's going on YN?" I asked. "You need to talk. Now."
    YN looked away from me, tears threatening to stain her cheeks once more. "Nothing. I'm fine." She said shortly. "It doesn't matter anyway."
    "It?" I asked, now knowing something definitely was wrong. "I think it does matter, considering you're hurting yourself!" I held up the razor that was still dripping blood. "Is this about Karma?" I knew Karma had been being a complete dick towards YN lately, but I didn't think YN was the type of girl to let something like that bother her this much. Then again she and Karma had been together for a while now, even I thought they'd get married.
    "No." YN answered again, crossing her arms over her stomach.
    "Than what is it?" I said softly as I grabbed YN's hands, the fact that she flinched, did not go un noticed. "Look YN whatever it is, keeping it to yourself is not going to help, now talk." I demanded, feeling increasingly concerned as YN began shaking.
    "I..I can't A...Asuno."
    Knowing she wasn't going to answer any time soon I began to think. Why did she flinch at any physical contact, why did she stammer, why did she feel the need to cut herself, how come she couldn't stop puking? Why did it seem like she never slept....then it hit me. Like a rock that was meant to kill. All of these things..they pointed to one thing only.
    I could feel the color drain from my face as I looked at YN, she met my eyes and right away she knew I knew. "YN...please tell me what I'm thinking is wrong." I begged.
     "Y..you know Professor Mandosa?" YN asked now looking up at me with fear covering her face, and tears drowning her dark eyes in sorrow.
    "He teaches Chemistry 104." I nodded.
    "God. I can't believe I'm telling you this." YN took a deep, yet choked breath.  "But you have to p..promise not to look at me differently, or at least be kind when you decide to tell me you hate me." She pleaded.
    "YN..I would never..." I began.
    YN stopped me. "J..just p..promise."
    I nodded.
    "Well..Last week... he....he." YN began, and all I felt was my blood running cold, and my eyes widening as she told me just what happened  just the week before.
~~~
"Did you try telling Karma?"I asked, hugging YN, not really knowing what else to say.
"No." YN shook her head and let me hug her. "I thought about it..." YN trailed off. We both knew Karma had been a little absent lately, it was no wonder she couldn't get ahold of the one person who might be able to make her feel better.
    I think this is the first time ever, I have wished that I was Karma Akabane. I thought to myself.
"Umm...could you please go?" Asked YN pulling back, and rubbing her right eye. "I would kinda like to be alone right now." YN was a sobbing mess,  so I could understand why she wanted to be alone, but still I was hesitant to leave her like this. After everything I had heard and seen...I just couldn't.
"You're sure you're okay?" I asked as I approached the door, looking back at a sickly pale YN and blood covered sheets.
"I'll be okay Asuno. I promise not to do anything so stupid again." YN assured. "I..I just need some time alone." YN pushed more tears away, trying to smile.
"If you need anything I will be right across the hall." I said, and turned to go.
"Hey Asuno?" YN called after me.
"Yes?" I asked, looking back at her.
"Thanks." YN smiled.
"Of course." And with that I left the room, closed the door, and heard more crying on the other side. I pulled out my black cellphone and dialed Nora's number.
"What's up Lazy Butt!?" Nora's cheerful voice screamed through the monitor, teasing me for not going to class.
"Nora, it's YN, I don't care what you are freaking doing right now, just get back here now!" I practically begged, I pushed away a tear of my own. I was scared, scared I wouldn't know what to do, no, I didn't know what to do. But I had to do something.
"What happened?!" Asked Nora, her voice dropping low and concerned. I could hear the running of feet through the phone, I could only guess Nora was on her way.
"Umm....I'll tell you when you get here." I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath. It was no question last year that E Class had always had each other's backs. I was an E now, meaning I had to look out for my friends, the only thing was, I had no idea how to do that. There were no text books, no notes and no professors, all I could do was go with my gut. I didn't want to lose YN, and I think what was happening was just that. She was slipping away...
So, I would go with my gut, this was the ultimate exam, and I could only hope I wouldn't fail.
"ASUNO!" Nora shouted. "Where's YN? Is she okay? What happened? Did she tell you somethings?" Nora shot off rapid fire questions at me, getting to close for comfort.
"I'll explain on the way." I promised. "Right now, we've gotta go see someone."
Nora nodded and together we ran out of the dorm building and hailed a cab, heading to the one place I thought could help YN.
"Kugeuka High School." I told the cab. Karma once I'm done taking care of YN, you are gunna get it!
    "You know?" Nora sighed. "I'm all for killing Karma and all, but he doesn't know us to well, I think we may have to call in back up."
    "Who?" I asked. I had to admit Nora made a good point. Karma might not listen to to us because dispite being friends for the last few month, we weren't close enough to have this kind of conversation with him. However, whoever we chose had to be trustworthy with YN's situation.
    "Well YN introduced me to this girl from her E Class once, I'll giver a call." With that Nora pulled out a bright pink cell phone with a small heart on the back. "Hey Rio, it's Nora. Oh I'm okay, listen.." Nora went on to explain what had happened and about Karma.
    I stared out the window, watching the city pass me by as Nora spoke in hushed tones with the person on the other end, that is until...
    "WHAT! THAT LITTLE ******* ASSHOLE OF A BASTARD! IM GUNNA TAKE HIS ASS AND SEND IT UP TO THE OCTOPUS, MAYBE THEN HE CAN ACTUALLY LEARN HOW TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING!" A female girl shouted through the phone loudly. I could only imagine, what the octopus was.
    "That's fine, but could you wait until after we've gotten YN help?" Nora asked. After some more mumbles, Nora smiled. "Alright we'll let you know when you can...assassinate him? Okay...okay, bye bye."
"She's on it." Nora grinned. "As soon as we give her the go ahead."
"Alright." I nodded as the cab pulled into to an all to familiar parking lot. "But right now, it's time for us to do our job."