Always fakin a damn smile cuz of this damn fuckin depression most the time I don't fake a smile I jus keep a sad face knowin that this damn fuckin depression of mine is gonna keep gettin the best of me when it does I leave scars on my body so I'll always remember what got the best of me been fuckin depressed since the age of 7 every single day my depression gets worse when I think of y'all up in heaven I know y'all lookin down on me but it ain't the fuckin same anymore knowin all my friends keep dyin makes my fuckin depression worse and worse fuck bein happy yea I'm happy on the inside cuz I have my bf but knowin my friends are dyin makes me cry and makes me feel like I'm nothin without them on top of this damn fuckin depression I have anxiety adhd add and other shit I keep losin my sanity when I hear that my friends die slowly every fuckin day I lose more and more sanity my depression got worse when my parents got a divorce all thanks to my mom for walkin out on my awesome and lovin dad got look for a job to help support my dad and my family. Not a damn fuckin soul knows how I feel about my own fuckin family they treated me like shit for years and I'm tired of it to this fuckin day they still treat me how they did when we was younger I'm tired of my fuckin family treating me like shit and not including me in shit I keep all my thoughts to myself bc if I speak the truth I get hated and get treated even more like shit they wonder why I'm so fuckin isolated from them bc none of them get me they don't know that I sit in the fuckin dark wondering why I'm still living they don't know that I still cut and blame stray cats they don't understand why I'm always quiet and why I barely talk to them they don't understand what I feel and they don't know that I cry almost every night they don't know me at all anymore my own fuckin family betrayed me and used me they wonder why I barely eat anymore and why I tell them no most of the time they don't know me at all anymore I can't trust my family anymore I'm done living my entire soul is dead and they don't see that I wanna die but I fake a smile every fuckin day and night no one in my family sees me as the once happy and cheerful girl I use to be I'm invisible to my family now and always will be goodbye to my family y'all lost the only girl who was happy and cheerful all the time now y'all have a girl who don't wanna smile anymore and thinks about death all the fuckin time the girl yall knew is no longer the same girl fuck the girl I use to be I'm better off alone
