Little Red Pills

     My mom and I never got along after I was I years old but for fair reasons. The constant screaming and fighting, it all tore me apart mentally. Growing up was hard but I survived, which is really one of the few good things that came out of it. A few of the bad things were being a temporary drug dealer, getting addicted to many drugs, and feeling the need to have foreign chemicals in my body. My name is Nate.

     I was 8 when I started to be afraid to come home from school, or wake up. It was my sister, my mom, and me in the house. Well it wasn't our house, we were living with moms control freak friends. That must've been why they got along. Well during that time I remember her driving us around while tossing her empty bottles of smirnoff out the window, screaming at me or one of her boyfriends. Im only going to give a short summary of my past.

     Another thing I hate remembering, the constant suicide attempts. To this day, if she starts to drink I hide all the knives and the keys to her car. It seemed almost every weekend, back then, was a fight for somebodys survival.

    After a long struggle of my sanity I was 14, didnt mean much, nothing really changed except I felt mentally stronger. I couldnt snap as easily. But as you could imagine, my reality was complete hell. I hated my life and had to escape.

    When I started smoking marijuana it definately worked better than zoloft or adavan. I was in love with a plant, I suppose would be the best way to put it. It took me right out of my world of pain and put me into a world of peace. Mom would yell and i could laugh it off. But since i was 14, I didnt have the convenience of spending $20-$50 a week for a long while.

     One day, I called my dealer and was looking to buy a gram. He said he'd give me a gram a week if I could deal for him. How could I refuse? For a few months we'd meet and Id give him his money and he would give me my weed. Then my mom smelled smoke in my room. I had to quit dealing because I couldnt leave the house for 5 months but he'd still get my weed to me through a window, but then I had to pay.

    At school a few friends of mine asked me if I wanted to go to a party. I couldnt refuse that offer either, it was rare of me not to show up in the local parties anyway. But this one changed my life.

    11p.m. showed up and my alarm went off on vibrate. I opened the window, got my bag of extra clothes, water, weed, and paraphenelia. Climbed out the window and started walking. I was at my friend Davids house in minutes (I changed his name for security). David was higher than a weed high, I figured it was mushrooms, something I had wanted to try for the past two years. When I asked he told me it was a slightly new drug called Triple C's, the brand was Coricidin. Its a cold medicine, a little red pill, with three black c's on it. He told me you only need to take about 12. With my background of doing Oxycontin, Hydrocodone, Perqueasets, etc. I thought I had a high tolerance of pills. I was so wrong.

    I went to the store and got three boxes of this stuff. Walking back to the party I swallowed 12. When I finaly arrived back, I wasnt feeling anything so I did 12 more. I wish someone had told me it takes almost an hour and a half for the craziness to begin.

    After the first hour the first round of Triple C's hit me. And that hit hard! I could barely stand and the people around me were "glitching". I looked around and my head seemed like it was moving like a sprinkler, stopping and going. Then people dissappeared, it was 1 in the morning in an instant almost so I left. I was walking back to the house and didnt really have any idea where I was headed but I let my legs do their own thinking and take me where ever I was going. I was hearing things like music and loud cars, seeing light poles bend and turn into worms, the ground below me shattered into black space. All i could see were colorful geometric patterns and hear music. and then I was back in reality for a few seconds. I was in a car, my dealers car. I splutttered out, "what happened?", he told me I had called him about 4 times for a ride to his place. I didnt remeber but I sure as hell wasnt going to argue I couldnt really move, in fact he picked me up off the side walk and carried me into his car.

    I thought it was all over, but that was only the first two hours of the trip, I still had about 6 hours left. He pulled into his garage, turned off the car, and helped me out. His garage was a common hang out for me. We had been freinds for two years and we'd go into his garage and smoke and sit in the bean bags he had set up around his bong. For fun he decided to test my sobriety. He told me to walk in a straight line, I took two steps and slurred, "I'm not movin anymore". Then he asked how many fingers, "You got 6. wait thats not right. alien fucker." he was holding up two apparently.

     Then I fell back into another world. I could see these green lines in space, they glowed but it was really a feeling a fear they eminated. I was watching as more appeared and formed a graph. I heard a beat while this happened, it was getting faster, it sounded like a heart beat. I figured out it was mine, then it stopped. I could hear my thoughts as if someone was whispering them in my ears.

     "Am I dead? Where am I?"

     I was watching those lines still, and then they formed walls around me and I floated out of them. Then I fell as if I tripped over something. I was back, I had a different shirt on, and I was laying the grass of the park behind my house. I didnt have the strength to move. I tried so hard to lift my arm, my hand, not even my finger would move. In that moment I realized I had just done what I've wanted to do for years. I left reality.

    After about 15 minutes of laying in the grass I stumbled home and climbed through the window. I took off that shirt I was wearing,  I still dont know who's shirt it was. I layed down in bed, my head was spinning I still couldnt see straight. I checked my phone and stared at it for what felt like hours trying to understand what the numbers meant. I figured out it was 5 a.m. I finally went to sleep and didnt wake up until two the next day.

     The next day I checked my pants pockets for what I had left over from the night before which was; 24 Triple C's, about half a gram of weed, a lighter, a 30mg Hydro, and $40. Last I knew I only had the Triple C's and weed, but didn't really care. I knew I was addicted to the pills though because as soon as I counted them out I took 8 more.

     As soon as I ran out I had to get more, it was so much cheaper and crazier than weed. I kept doing it every morning and sometimes at night too, I dont remember much of last year but I remember those pills in my hand almost constantly.

     These things dont get a whole lot of attention on the media because they contain DXM which is a commonly abused ingredient in most cold medications. I dont know why they are so much more wild, but I strongly suggest if you're looking to get high, smoke weed and stay away from these things. I do respect life more now because I know how easily it can be taken. But if you want a higher understanding of life, do some acid or DMT but stay way from Coricidin.