Life Within Crystalfort: Our Story Continues - Part Two [COMPLETED]

Chapter Twelve

Four Years Later

I slowly put the toilet lid down and sat on it like it was just another chair. The house was too quiet for me to focus on anything. I stared down at the test in my hand one more time to make sure that I hadn't read it wrong. This was the only test that I was disappointed that I had passed. I stood up and threw it into the trash and left the bathroom. I picked up my cell phone and got the only person on the phone that I felt comfortable talking to.

"Clawdeen? Can I talk to you?"

"Of course you can. What's up?" Clawdeen asked.

"I mean... Could you come over here? It's very important," I said softly. There was a long pause before she spoke again. The pause made me even more worried than I already was.

"Yeah. I'll be over in just a second," her end went dead when she hung up the phone. I let out a breath that I hadn't known I was holding. I walked down the stairs and went straight to the door, opening it just as Clawdeen knocked.

"So, what's wrong?" She asked as I closed the door behind her. She followed me to the kitchen. I leaned against the counter and ran my fingers through my hair.

"I'm, um... I don't know how to say it," I said quietly. Clawdeen stepped closer to me and sat down on the table rather than in a chair. She grabbed my hands and looked up at me with a soft, understanding look.

"You can tell me anything. You know that. Otherwise, you wouldn't have called me over here. What's wrong?" Clawdeen asked. I drew in a deep breath and stared at the floor.

"I'm pregnant," I said. She let go of my hands and let her hands go to her mouth.

"Does Clawd know?" She asked. I shook my head. "Jesus, Laura. I don't know what to tell you. You... you know you can't survive that, right?" She asked. Slowly, I nodded.

"I know. But... but I can't get rid of it. I'm not for that. It's against everything I believe in," I explained.

"You have to tell Clawd. This is his life, too. You can't do something like this without talking to him. Do you understand me?" She asked. I nodded. "Now, you call him up and you tell him about this. He needs to know right now. And you two will work together to decide what to do, here," she said quietly.

"Ok."

"I need to go. I'm sorry, but I have to. I can't be gone from work for too long," she pulled me into a comforting hug and left. I didn't want to call Clawd. I didn't want Clawd to help me make a decision. I knew what I wanted to do and I knew what he would want to. Still, I sat in the kitchen and waited for Clawd to come home. He would graduate from college in another month. He had been working in construction for four years and had been using the money to pay for college. He was working on his architectural degree so that he could design houses and build them and get the money for both jobs.

"Hey, sugar," Clawd said, walking into the kitchen. He lightly kissed me on the cheek and walked to the fridge. "What do you want for supper?"

"I'm not hungry. Clawd, I need to talk to you," I said quietly. He turned around and shut the fridge. He walked to the table and sat down in the chair closest to me.

"What's up?" He asked. I drew in a deep breath and considered the best way to start the conversation. Nothing came to me but to be straight forward with it.

"I'm pregnant," I whispered so quietly that I almost hadn't heard it. Clawd's elbow rested on the table and he placed his head in his hand. He bit his lip as he looked at me. He didn't know what to do.

"All right, what do you want to do?" He asked.

"What do I want to do?" He nodded. "I... I want to keep it. I can't just get rid of a baby. You know that," I said.

"Ok. Then that's what we do," Clawd said softly. He squeezed my hand as he stood up. He went back to the fridge and got out the milk and butter. He reached into the cupboard and brought down a box of macaroni.

"That's all? You don't want to talk about it?" I asked.

"What is there to talk about? You're not changing your mind. I know that and so do you. Why waste your energy, and mine, trying to change something that can't be changed?"

"But... but, you know what happens, right?" I asked. He nodded.

"Of course I know what happens. And that's why I don't want to talk about it, Laura. I can't take that right now. I'm sorry, but you made this choice," Clawd said softly. I covered my hand with my mouth to stop myself from crying. I could hear the pain in his voice. And even though he wasn't facing me, I knew his eyes were filled with the same pain that he felt in his heart.

"We really can't talk about this?" I asked. This time, he turned around to face me. I wished he hadn't. I could see the tears that had already begun to form in his eyes.

"We can talk about it all you want. But why talk about it if you aren't changing your mind on the subject? I mean, what do you even want to talk about, Laura? What kind of casket you would like to be buried in?" He asked. He stumbled over his words as he quickly spit them out. I stepped towards him.

"Please, Clawd. Don't... don't be like that. This is just as hard for me as it is for you. Don't make it worse," I said quietly.

"If it were just as hard for you, you wouldn't go through with it. I mean, I understand where you're coming from. I really do. But, is it worth it if I have to loose you? Is that really what you want?"

"I'm sorry," I said one more time. I didn't know what else to say to him. He was more upset at this point than I was. I was trying my best to not make it worse. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and pulled me into one of the Clawd-hugs that were so familiar to me. No matter how bad it was, those hugs always made it seem better. This time, it didn't work. My world was crashing down around me with something that should have been such good news to anyone but myself. But, I had to keep true to my beliefs.

And then I realized who else would have to know about this. The other person out there who would cry over what I was going through. The only other person I didn't want to tell. My father.