Fragile Hearts {Harlena love story} ON HOLD.

Chapter seventeen.

Selena's POV

I picked it up but hesitated on reading his text. I pretty much spent 5 minutes on whether i should read it or not, finally I've came to a realization if I just ignored him and ran away from the situation it won't help anything. I walked to my bed and sat down sliding my index finger across my phone's screen. I read the text...

Harbear!:
hey, i know you probably wouldn't want to hear from me ever again..but i'm really sorry. i really am. anyway, you might or you might have not seen my audition for the xfactor..i really hope you did. that song was dedicated for you, because i KNOW you're not in your best state right now..and it's all because of me. I'm really sorry, Selena i didn't mean to hurt you. i didn't know it would affect you like that. also i'm sorry i was going to tell you i was auditioning but i just didn't know how. i'm sorry for being such a terrible friend. i'm not expecting you to reply because i know you're still mad at me, i just wanna let you know how sorry i am and i hope you know I REALLY AM TERRIBLY SORRY.. xx

By now the tears once again started cascading down my already tear-stained cheeks. Now I'm sitting here crying, I wanted to reply so bad and tell him everything that I'm feeling right now. Everything. But I couldn't well, to be honest even if I could I wouldn't. I'm already sitting here crying because I told him I liked him. Thank God I didn't tell him I loved him. That would have been much worse...just imagine it; Me telling my best friend who only thinks of me as his little sister that I love him and him giving me a sympathetic face and then him telling me he doesn't feel the same way. Then the next thing you know he has moved schools because he didn't know how to reject me because he's so sweet and gentle. A shaky sigh escaped my lips as I decided to reply.

i watched it you were great, congratulations. you deserve it. good luck.

Send. I turned off my phone not wanting to see him reply again. I decided to take a warm shower to cool off a bit. I started making my way to my bathroom with my pink towel dangling from my elbow. I hanged my towel on the rack and started rummaging through my drawer. Aha! There it was...my trusty old friend.

"Mr. Razor." I said to myself barely audible.

I stared at it for a while and in just a matter of seconds it was all dismantled. The body and the blades lying side by side on the counter. I picked up the blade and rolled my sleeves up revealing my scars from where I had harmed before.

In all honesty, I haven't self harmed since Harry and I started hanging out. He kept me busy, but he never really found out I self harmed. I always wore long sleeves, if not I covered them up with makeup. Now that he's gone and no one's keeping me from doing it again. I don't see why not.

I slid the cold metal across my wrist multiple times, in all different places. Making sure that i'm not overlapping, because if i did then...ouch. It would hurt like hell! Trust me, you wouldn't wanna feel that pain. Few moments passed; I slid it one last time and finally washed the blade. My arm felt numb. It's covered in blood, literally covered and dripping in blood. I made about six or more not-so-deep cuts, but it's no big deal.

I cleaned up my mess and hopped in the shower. Once the water started running I felt the stinging feeling in my eyes again and tears started to fall. I leaned my back  against the tiled wall and slid down it, hugging my knees to my chest and started weeping in pain. Not physically, but emotionally.