It's been exactly one year after Augustus died. Today was the day I was going to visit his grave for the first time (I've always been to upset to go). I sat up in my bed and looked at my phone - three missed calls from Isaac. My legs swung over my mattress and planted themselves on the ground. I started towards my closet and grabbed the "fancy" shirt that I wore to [the nasty] Peter Van Houten's house - 'Ceci n'est pas un pipe. I whipped on my jeans and hooked up my oxygen tank. My feet shuffled across the carpet as I started to walk downstairs. "It's okay. Don't cry, Hazel Grace. It's all okay." I kept thinking. "Let's go Hazel! We have to meet Isaac at his house!" My mom's sweet voiced echoed. I took a deep breath and walked faster ; almost running at this point.
My phone vibrated in my hand. It glowed as a text message from Isaac pops up. 'Ill be waiting outside for you. Don't be late! I miss my old friend :(.' I put my phone in my pocket and walked over to my dad. He hugged me right away and gave me a crooked smile. "I love you sweetie." He chirped. "I know, dad. I know you do." I laughed. He let go and let me run off to go see Augustus.
I waved at him trough the car window as I held back tears. Today is going to be a rough day. I hear the engine roars in the background of my mind. "How can I do this?" I thought.
We pulled up to Isaac's house about three minutes later. His mother helped him down the steps and over to the car. I rolled down my window. "Hey Isaac!" I smiled. My hand raised, about to wave to him, but I put it back down remembering that he couldn't see me. He opened the car door and sat down. His mother reached over him and buckled his seatbelt. "Bye Isaac. I love you." His mother kissed his cheek and shut the door behind her as she walked away. I could tell he was embarrassed and annoyed. Naturally, I just started laughing. Isaac cracked a smile and turned his head to the window. "So how much do you miss him?" He blurted out. I froze. I couldn't answer that without crying, and now I didn't feel like crying. I sighed and looked at Isaac. "There are no words to describe how much I do."
The rest of the car ride was silent - unless you count the sound of my heart beating in my throat. My mom pulled up next to the gates to the church. "I'll be here when your ready to come home." She said. I opened the car door and walked over to Isaac's door. He opened it and I held him arm. "You okay?" He exclaimed. I shook my head no and answered, "Yes." Since he couldn't see me, I couldn't help but cry. I tried not to make any sounds and started walking up the small hill. "Gus... You know how much he loved you, right?" Isaac turned his head, trying to look at me. I nodded slowly. "I do. I mean, I did." "He talked about you everyday. No matter what. Even when I was crying over Monica. It was like a stupid-boyfriend-conversation." He smiled and laughed to himself a little, turning his head back to the ground.
