Till I Met You

I chose fleet, he chose fight.

Nothing really seemed to matter at this point. Everything was just water under the bridge. My purpose slipped out of my fingers and my potential followed along.

Here I am. My toes rubbing against the edge, the wind caressing my hair and my heart ready to leap out of my body. 

Here I am. I am going to muster every ounce of confidence and take the plunge. Maybe my purpose is on the other side. Maybe Jesus might have more use for me up there (assuming that I will go to heaven).

I squeezed my eyes shut and extended my lanky arms. Breathe in. Breath out. Here we g-

"You're being a little dramatic, don't you think?"

I lost my balance and fell backwards from the ledge of the building. My head had made contact with the concrete and had me lightheaded. I rubbed my eyes to chase away the blurriness. When my view became clear, I spot a large hand in my face offering help. 

I looked up and met a pair of piercing blue eyes. He blew smoke in my face and wiggled his fingers urging me to take it.

I tilted my head confused, "What are you doing here?" My voice was shaky. I didn't know if that was because I was just about to kick the bucket, or that I was just caught about to kick it.

He smirked and motioned for me to grab his hand again. I grasped his hand and he pulled me to my feet. He shrugs off his leather jacket and envelopes me into it.

"Eva Nicks, right?" He asked.

I stared at my bare feet avoiding to make eye contact. "Mhmm"

"Don't you think it's a little selfish what you're doing?"

My head snapped up to meet his gaze. "You don't know me or what I am going through. You have no right to judge." I shot him a glare and burst to my feet to leave whipping off his jacket.

As I made my way, a strong arm wrapped around my waist and spun me around. 

"Eva, calm down. I was not passing on judgement," he says oh-so-coolly, "I just meant that, don't you think the janitor has a tough job already?"

I couldn't suppress the giggle that followed. I stepped away from his hold and slid down with my back leaning on the fire escape door that was parallel from the ledge. I rested my chin on my knees and wrapped my arms around myself.

"Charles Hessington, right?" Look at me trying to have a civil conversation post-suicide attempt. 

He slid down to where I was and gave me his jacket again. He took a drag before he spoke, "Just Charlie."

"Well 'Just Charlie', what are you doing here?" I questioned him.

He peered at me before looking back at the sky above. "Well, you see, this is my spot Eva Nicks."

I didn't dare look him in the eye. I also didn't know if it was because of what he witnessed or that Charles Hessington was here.

He was always the headline of the weekly gossip at St Jude's College. The boy never failed to have at least one rumour being passed in the hallways about him. I had never met nor spoken a word to him. It was a little unsettling that I had never met him even though we had been in school together for five years together.

I never really took interest in him because I had my own things to deal  and I couldn't actually bother to throw myself at him like every other female adolescent.

He offers me his cigarette but I scrunch my nose in distaste. "Not a fan of cigarettes?"

"Not a fan of cancer more like it."

He chuckles and said, "Ironic, don't you think?"

I rolled my eyes and rake my fingers through my hair. What am I doing? What has gotten into me? I don't eve know who I am anymore. I don't even think I have control of my own body anymore. Sometimes I feel so numb to everything. Most of the times, I am roaming around looking for something to fill the void. The void. The hole that has left me in great grief and despair. Unfathomable. 

Charlie's baritone voice cuts through the silence that hung around us. 

"You weren't going to jump." He took a drag and slowly puffed out the smoke. The smoke floated in front of me swirling in the air while the wind dictated its direction. "You're not a sell-out or a quitter."

I snorted, "How would you know? We don't even know each other."

Charlie turned his head to look at me, "Just because you don't know me, doesn't mean I don't know you."

"Charles Hessington, what could you possibly know about me?" The moment the words leave my lips, I regret it. I had been Page Six lately in school. "Never mind, don't answer that."

The wind picked up and I snugglde into his jacket. The world is messed up. If you think for one second that this will be the start of an epic love story, forget about it. I don't have the time or energy to commit myself into more drama.

I stood up and folded his jacket and set on his side. "Thank you, but I think I am going to take my thoughts somewhere else now. Thanks for," I motioned to the ledge, " you know."

He puffed out smoke and replied, "Anytime, Eva Nicks".

I had made my way to the fire escape stairs when I heard him say, "You don't own all the problems of the world Eva Nicks."

I left with quick haste to try and gather all my thoughts. My mind and my heart were pumping hard and fast.

Today, I nearly died. Today, I wanted to.

But a pair of blue eyes didn't let me.