Youthfulness

Chapter Four

Alexander dashed into his room, panting heavily. His heart beat rapidly and irregularly not because of his exertion, but of his messy mind, blood pounding in his head. He staggered to the general direction of the bathroom with his blurry eyesight and looked at the mirror.

Anxiety attack. Again. He had thought too much. He choked.

"I am Alexander Young. I am fourteen. I am studying in La Salle College. I am stronger than that." Alexander spoke loudly in front of the mirror, just louder enough for him in a panicked state to hear, and raked his hand through his hair and stared hard at the blurred hazel eyes of the reflection on the mirror. The therapist told him that if he experienced an anxiety attack, he needed to speak these words to calm himself.

Gradually, he felt less pain and pounding in his head and his vision cleared. Not wasting time, he immediately dashed out of the bathroom and hoisted up his cello case. He tried to distract himself from thinking too much by tracing the shape of the cello box with his free hand while walking down the spiral staircase.

***

Claire sat on the stool, staring at the window. She had uncovered the grand piano in the living room from its velvet covering, wiped every single key until they were shiny, and found the piano stool.

But Alexander hadn't come down yet.

She tiptoed to his room, and pressed her ear against the door. She heard him talking in the empty room. She felt so stupid instantly. Her twin was experiencing anxiety attack, so he wanted to play ensemble with her to distract himself from thinking too much.

She pretended not to notice anything and went to her room to get some piano and cello duet music scores. She grabbed a handful from her file and some études to warm up her fingers. Then, she slowly descended to the living room, where Alexander was tuning his cello.

"I've finally found my piano and cello duet file."

Alexander chuckled at Claire's dishevelled hair and combed it while speaking, "Wait. Let's warm up first. I know you'll bring the études downstairs, won't you?"

Claire smiled and pulled out the études from the pile of music sheets scattered on the top of the cello box, "You know me well, Alex."

They practised in silence, filling the room with occasional tinkling sound of the piano and soothing sound of the cello, but the tension remained.

After exactly five minutes, they stopped simultaneously and Alexander sighed, put down the cello, beckoning Claire to his side.

Claire obliged, and surprisingly, Alexander pulled her to his arms. Worry blossomed in her heart. She patted his back comfortingly as he hugged her tightly, and his tears fell from his eyes.

Droplets of tears splattered on her nightgown, but she didn't mind it at all. Instead, she drew him closer and allowed him to rest his head on her shoulder.

"Claire," he murmured, "I miss Julie. I miss her so much."

"I know," Claire stroke his back soothingly, quietening his sobbing slightly, "But now you love Jules, right? You love him more than Julie, am I correct?"

"Of course," from her shoulder came a muffled reply, "He accepted my gender."

"Then show him that you love him more than anything. You wouldn't miss Julie because Jules is here for you and is yours."

"Okay," Alexander smiled on her shoulder and sat up again, the cello propped against him once more, "Thanks for listening, sis. You are the best."

Claire smiled, relief rushing into her instantly like air. Her twin had calmed down and was smiling. She was so scared that she wouldn't see him smile again when he broke up with Julie. Thankfully, Jules came into his life and saved him.

"I have a price that comes with the comforting, though," Claire smiled wickedly. Alexander widened his eyes, surprised and scared like a deer spotted by headlights. She pretended to laugh like a witch and pointed at her twin.

"I demand that we have to play Chopin's duets, no Brahms today."

"No!" Alexander pouted, as Claire laughed at his expression, her grin genuine this time, "I can't live without Brahms' duets!" He lunged for the pile of music sheets, his mouth now turning upward. Claire covered the table with her hands gleefully and quickly withdrew all duets of Brahms. Alexander growled in frustration and tickled Claire.

His fingers were speedy and flexible due to years of intense musical training, and Claire giggled as Alexander tickled her, trying to get away from his malicious fingers.

After a while, he stopped, both panting heavily, Claire tired to escape, and Alexander tired to chase after Claire's swift body. They looked at each other for a second, and burst out laughing at the same time.

"Fine. One Chopin then one Brahms, deal?" Once they stopped laughing, Claire asked Alexander fearfully.

"A peace treaty now?" Alexander paused for a while, and smiled, "Yes, of course. Deal."

Claire cheered and hugged Alexander, "You're the best."

***

One duet came after another, and soon Claire and Alexander had played five duets, which all of them had at least five pages. Claire checked her watch. It was already ten, and they were so concentrated that they didn't realise their parents were at home.

She yawned and tapped Alexander's shoulder to catch his attention. He was also tired, after crying his heart out on top of the exertion from school life.

"Let's call it a day, shall we?" Claire stood up from her piano stool and gently closed the piano, covering it with the velvet covering again. Alexander nodded and began to put his cello and bow into his cello case.

Claire walked back to her room, and turned on her phone. Thankfully, it was already fully charged. She silently thanked whatever god that made her phone fully charged after exhausting its battery until 14% battery left, and quickly scrolled through her classmates' WhatsApp messages. Nothing special, only some positive comments about Calling Of Stars and - this was the only thing Claire paid attention to - the thoughts to continue playing this game even after finishing the computer homework.

Claire was annoyed. Why did everyone has the same thought as hers? Huffing with defiance, she considered continuing playing until she reached the top ten highest levels available as she drifted into dreamland, falling quickly asleep when the exhaustion finally hit her.