Jake the panty-ripper

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●Sometimes your knight is in shinning armor... and sometimes, he just happens to be in an orange jumpsuit that really brings out the color of his hazel eyes...●

"What does it mean when a man you don't particularly want or need in your life says he's indebted to you for the rest of HIS life, wether you like it or not? It means your bills being paid behind your back, and your hair being held back while your stomach declines all the body shots you took at the club. It means your boyfriend getting assaulted for forgetting your birthday. It means unsolicited advice at 3AM involving how to get yourself off- and how to make epic risotto. It means suffocation, claustrophobia and general difficulty in breathing. It means hell on earth. It means dancing with the idea of getting this man sent back to jail"


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The author is KanyeInterruptedMe !

This story is hilarious.

I lowkey cried at the end.

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