Journal of Love

February 25th, 2017

Hey, my name's Catherine, but everyone calls me Cat. I'm 14 years old and my mom gave me this journal for my birthday, which is today, by the way. I started writing journals when i was 9 years old. I've been through a lot in my life. My father died when i was only 3 years old. I don't know him of course, but growing up without a father is hard. Besides, my mom is an alcoholic. Ever since my father died she started drinking, and now she can't or just won't stop. I have a little brother, called Rikki. He's only 5 years old, but i have to take care of him cause my mom's too weak and most of the time drunk. I used to be one of the popular kids in high school, but since my boyfriend (his name is Jase) broke up with me, because i was "too emo for him", everybody quit talking to me. Yep, that's right; instead of supporting me because i was going through a rough time, he made me feel even worse by breaking up with me. Now i have like 2 or 3 friends left. My bestest friend is Luis, he has been my friend since day 1 and i don't know what i'd do without him.

Anyways, enough of the sad stories. Today at school something weird happened. I saw a cute new guy walking by and i got distracted, so i accidentally dropped my books and Instead of walking past me like everyone else at school does, he actually helped me and all i could do is mumble a bit and say "thanks". He gave me one of the cutest smiles i have ever seen in my life. My stomach felt so weird, it was almost like i was.. in love? When he walked away i started questioning myself; if i would be in love, how could i fall in love this easily? who even is he? what if he only helped me cause he HAD to? i mean, if you walk up to someone who dropped their books, you help them right? and why did he smiled at me as if... ugh. I gotta be honest with you, these aren't the same feelings i felt as when i was with Jase. If this feeling is called love, then i never really loved Jase. Anyways, i have to go sleep now, goodnight.