The Guard To My Sanctuary

Chapter 51

Calloway

"Can I come in, Call? Just for a minute," Ozias's deep voice rumbled through the door like a trumpet. I rolled my eyes at the audacity. He knocked again, so I turned up my headphones, trying to drown him with melancholy music. Unfortunately, my headphones were on their last legs, and his booming voice still broke through.

I wasn't furious anymore—I had a day to cool off—but my pettiness refused to let me talk to him. Beo had slept in the guest room last night, and we had talked. I wasn't mad about what they were doing with each other; I was mad they lied and snuck around. On top of that, Beo had the nerve to suck my brother's dick and then breathe in my face—he was the worst mouth-breather in his sleep.

To make things worse, my period was wreaking havoc on my emotions, making it all the harder to deal with. I felt terrible for Beo because Ozias could claim him all day, but he was a known cheater. How long before he hurt him?

I closed my eyes and tried to block it all out, focusing instead on thoughts of Germany and his smile. That worked until my headphones were suddenly yanked off. I opened my eyes to find Ozias standing over me, one eyebrow raised like I was inconveniencing him.

I sighed. "You know I don't like uninvited people in my space. And you are definitely uninvited."

"Come on, baby bro. Can we just talk? You can't still be mad," he said, sitting on my bed without asking—a pet peeve of mine. "Maddox is over it, and he actually got hit. I'm over you hitting me. You made up with Beo, so what did I do that's so wrong you can't even have a conversation with me?"

"I'm capable of having a conversation," I said, turning my back to him. "I just don't want to."

"Are you really that mad? Do you like Beo or something? Are you jealous?" Ozias asked.

I turned to look at him, incredulous. "What the hell kind of question is that? Beo is like a brother to me. The real question is, do you even like him, or did Mom and Dad force you into this?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know. He's the only guy I've been with more than once, but I'm unsure about the exclusive relationship. I'm young—why should I be tied down? Beo holds this weird place in my life that I can't explain."

I gave him a slow, judgmental eye roll. "You sound like a generic fuckboy. Pure, concentrated fuckboy."

He sighed. "Yeah, I know. Hearing it out loud makes me cringe. But honestly, I don't even know if I'm bisexual. I don't like masculine guys, and tomboys don't do it for me, either. I feel like I'm dragging Beo along while I figure myself out. I know it's shitty."

"Your tone," I warned, "I keep a knife under my bed, and I will stab you with it."

He huffed, annoyed. "Are you even listening?"

"Yes. And it sounds like you're a femme sexual. Google is free, by the way." I showed him what I had found. "Basically, you're attracted to femininity regardless of gender. But you can't drag Beo along while you figure out your identity. He's sensitive, and you could really hurt him. Now, I'll take my apology."

"I'm sorry," he said, looking more serious. "I was selfish, sneaking around with your best friend. I didn't take your feelings into consideration. And I'm sorry for coming at you about your condition—especially when Mom has the same thing, and none of us would be here without her."

I nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry for hitting you. And for calling you names. Also... I may have sprayed some cooking oil on your Jordans. I'll replace them."

We hugged, and just like that, the tension between us broke. My brothers and I never stayed mad at each other for long. There was this unexplainable bond we had as multiples.

"About damn time," Maddox said, poking his head in with a big smile. "Next time one of you hits me, I'm breaking arms."

I laughed, throwing a pillow at him. He ducked, and it hit the floor.

"Could you cook dinner? None of us know how to make anything," Ozias asked.

"Not tonight. I'm going out."

"Where are you going?" Ozias's voice shifted to protective big brother mode.

"To find a point when you became my daddy," I shot back. "I'll be gone for the weekend."

Ozias frowned. "Mom and Dad will kill you if you leave."

"They went away for nine days. I'm just following their lead."

After packing, I ordered a rideshare. Ozias trailed after me, still asking where I was going. "To ask a man about a boat to China," I said, using Grandma's line.

Beo appeared in one of my shirts. "Zi, just let him be."

I dozed off to the music in the car, enjoying the peace and quiet. When we arrived in the Tenderloin district, I thanked the driver and tipped him. The streets weren't too bad, a mix of addicts, hipsters, and the ever-present gentrification. I walked to a black-painted townhome where an Asian guy in a hoodie stood outside, bobbing his head to the music.

"Is Germany here?" I asked.

"Why are you asking?" he said, reaching for something at his side.

"Tell him Calloway is here." I wasn't scared. Germany was a drug dealer of the hard variety. He was fine as hell, with a thick beard and mustache trimmed neatly and tattoos that crept up his neck. His low, hooded eyes made him look like he was constantly squinting, and I could never tell where his pupils started, and the shadows cast by his brow bone ended.

Germany's slim but muscular build filled his clothes perfectly, making him look like the kind of man who could care for himself and anyone else in his space. He was covered in ink from the neck down, a testament to his dangerous lifestyle. His tall frame towered over mine, exuding strength without a word.

The guy, Jacob, nodded and let me in. As soon as I stepped inside, Germany's arms wrapped around me, lifting me off the ground. He kissed me sloppily, the taste of weed on his breath.

"You don't answer my texts all day, but you show up unannounced?" he said, swatting my ass.

"Yeah, I'm staying for the weekend," I replied, walking into the kitchen. Germany's dogs, Barney and Caillou, followed, wagging their tails. I opened the fridge—nothing but soda, alcohol, and old Chinese food.

"I'm hungry," I said, tossing the expired food in the trash.

Germany ordered takeout, then came over and stood between my legs. "Why did you really come?"

"Drama at home," I admitted, resting my arms around his neck. "I caught Beo in bed with my brother. We fought. It was a mess."

"Sounds like you're on your period. You always fight when you're on it."

I huffed. "That's not it. I just feel like Beo's going to get hurt."

"You can't control everything. Let it play out," Germany said.

When the food arrived, we ate silently, enjoying each other's company. I felt safe in Germany—no worries about school or family, just us. After dinner, we moved to his bedroom, where I texted my brothers to let them know I was okay and then turned on "Do Not Disturb."

"You know the rules," Germany said, watching me pull off my shirt.

I smirked and tossed my underwear at him. He caught them laughing.

Once we were both in bed, he wrapped his arms around me. "When are you going to be mine, for real?"

"When you stop messing around with other people," I said.

"I'm serious, Calloway. I love you."

I froze. "You love me?"

"Of course I do. Don't you love me?"

I looked at him, seeing nothing but sincerity. "Yeah, I love you."

"Then give me a chance. I won't mess this up." He kissed me again, and I melted into him.

"Okay," I said. "But only one chance."

"Deal," he whispered. "You won't regret it."