Darvey - dream

chapter 1 - the talk

I can't look at Donna the same way I did before my dream about her kissing me and then telling me she can't work for me anymore, because of her goddamn rule. Every time she bites her lip when she is focusing on work, I want to go to her and kiss her. I want to feel her lips on mine again, it is way too long since I last felt her lips. I don't know how dumb I was for not getting that I love her. Yes I can't really believe it myself. Harvey Specter is in love. My eyes search for Donna, but she isn't at her desk. I begin to stare again when someone comes into my view. And that specific person is no other than my therapist Dr. Paula Agard. "What are you doing here Paula? I didn't make sense an appointment, did I?" She shakes her head. "No you didn't, I just want to make sure you're alright. But like I just saw you staring for the past 20 minutes, you are definitely not alright." "What are you talking about? I'm perfectly fine." She sighs. "Oh come on Harvey, stop playing your games and just spit it out." "Well I would but there's nothing I could tell you." "Please Harvey I saw that you were thinking about something and it bothers you. So stop bullshitting here and start talking!" "Fine, but not in here, I don want anyone overhear this." I lead her to the file room. I make sure that no one is in there, at least that's what I thought I did. "Okay Harvey tell me. What is bothering you?" "It's just I had a dream and I can't stop thinking about it." She studies my face, I already know her tricks to read me. "Tell me about your dream." I start pacing through the room. "How was your weekend Paula?" "Harvey, stop changing the topic. This meeting is about your dream and why it bothers you so much." "I can't tell you!" "Why is it always so hard with you to talk about your feelings? I understand that you're a man and all but Harvey even men are allowed to have feelings, show them and talk about them!" Paula sighs dramatically. I can't help you if you don't talk with me." My brain is working like hell, should I talk about it or not? If I do maybe she can help me, of course she can help me she's a therapist. But it's so hard for me to say what I feel. She is about to go out of the file room when I call her. "Paula, wait! I will tell you but you can't interrupted me, it's hard enough for me." She turns around again and comes closer to me. I swallow, this is going to be strange. "Well, it was about Donna leaving me. Well not exactly leaving me, but I dreamed I woke up and Donna walked in in one of my shirts and two cup of coffees in my room. Then we talked a bit and we kissed, and then out of nowhere she said that she can't work for me anymore, because she has this rule. But I said to her that I don't want her leaving me. And she told me she isn't leaving me, she will just look for another job but she will be with me at home." I look at the ground and hope she can't read me now. "So what do you think does this dream mean?" "I don't exactly know I just figured one thing out." "And what is that one thing?" "I figured out that I love Donna. And every time I stare I just want to feel her lips on mine, not just in my mind." "Why don't you go to her then and tell her what you feel?" "It's not that simple." "And why's that?" "Because of her goddamn rule Paula!" "You know, I think you are afraid that she doesn't feel the same way you do. And you just use her rule as the reason, so you don't have to admit that you are afraid." Damn it, could it be that I am afraid. "I'm going to go now, you think about it. And call me or come to me if you have questions, okay?" I nod and watch her leave. I'm about to leave the room too, when I get the glimpse of red hair. Wait, what?! Donna is in here?! Please god no! I walk towards her. "Donna? How long are you standing here?" "The whole time..."