Loving the wrong one

My name is Monica Leonzo and being a 6th grader meant nothing to me. I didn't even think of boys at the time. But hey, some were cute and all, it's just I wasn't so interested.

One day, as I was walking down the hall, I see this really cute guy. I asked myself "Isn't he that guy, Charlie, who messaged me on my page and I asked if I went to his school?" And so he was. I told my friends how I found him attractive, but it was no big deal. One day, as I was walking outside, after school with two of my friends he asked me "Can I get a hug?" Feeling my face turning red, I hugged him, then walked away. I told my friends "I'm never washing this jacket again!" They laughed at my corny joke.

7th grade year came, I heard that Charlie had moved to California with his mom over the summer. I had forgotten all about him. So I start dating this one guy. His name is Devon. Devon's on the basketball team. He's an 8th grader, same grade as Charlie. Him and Devon are friends. Charlie then starts messaging me again, telling me that he's coming back to Tennessee. We started texting after that. So we talked, we were friends. Then he asked me out, I said no. I had no more interest in him; besides, I was dating Devon. I barley knew Charlie, why would I date him? Devon calls me the next night and says "Charlie said you asked him to suck his dick." I was angry, "No wtf. I would never!" I said. Hearing the anger in my voice, Devon laughed. "Are you gonna talk to him?" He asked. "No! I hate him! I swear to God I never asked him that!" I said furiously.

The next day, Charlie's at school. I see him talking to the principal. "Come give me a hug Monica." He says. I feel anger in me, but I tell myself, hey if I'm gonna have to go to school with him for the rest of the year, I can't hate him forever. I shall just forgive him so I won't have anger towards anybody. I hug him, without looking at him in the face.

A couple days after that, Devon and my relationship wasn't going so well, so I decided to brake up with him. Later, that day, my friend Lexi texts me and asks "Did you brake up with Devon for Charlie?" "No" I replied, I don't even like Charlie anymore, that was a year ago. Why would she think that though? Maybe Devon thought that or Charlie probably told her something. Wow, Charlie is such an asshole, I thought.

Charlie then starts to text me. We text everyday. He then asks me out again. I kind of start to grow feelings for him again, knowing what an asshole he is. "I think I need to get to know you better." I say. He's fine with that. But I know he has a reputation of being unfaithful to every female he's dated. What makes me think he's gonna be real to me? But anyway, Charlie and I keep on texting every day. He's just like the guy that every girl wants. He's so attractive, but I can still say "no" to him. He's friends with so many people, he like knows everyone! Charlie and I start to become friends with benefits, I think I actually like him now.

Valentines day approaches. Charlie's bestfriend, Richard tells me "Charlie got you a box of chocolate." I'm like wow. We then go to the locker that they shared and he shows me. I see a red heart box of chocolate, it's so cute, with a picture of Charlie Browns dog, giving the yellow little bird some flowers. I'm like "Really Richard? Why would you show me?" We laugh. The end of the school day comes, I'm just like, Damn, those chocolates were probably not for me... I go to my locker to get my stuff. I turn around and I see Charlie. Some of his friends are there too, Devon is one of them. Charlie then hugs me. He kisses me and asks "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" With a smile on my face, I say "Yes." He smiles too. He then hands me the box of chocolate and says "Take it."

Charlie and I are dating, his birthday is a week after valentines day, I knew how much he loved this one artist, so I bought him a shirt with his favorite artist on it.

A couple days after that Charlie says to me in the morning "I need to talk to you." I know it's bad, so I go sit with my friends. I tell them what Charlie said and I'm so nervous. I know he's gonna brake up with me, but I didn't do anything! What was his reason? At the end of the day, Charlie's friend comes up to me and says "Charlie says it's over." "Okay" I say. I am so sad. Then Charlie comes up to me himself and says, "You wanna know why?" and I ask him "Why?" and he says "Because you barley talk to me. I shrug. "That's exactly what I mean." he says, then he walks away.

I go home that day, run to my bed. I'm bursting in tears! Why? I ask myself. Why am I crying over a guy? Never in my life have I ever cried over any guy! My father has always showed me better than to cry over a guy! He's not worth it! I cry and cry all day. A few days later, Charlie messages me and says "I miss you." I see it a few days after he had sent it. I'm like seriously? Why am I seeing this until now? So I don't reply. it's too late, he's moved on. He has a girlfriend now. It's so easy for him to have moved on, but I tell myself, I need to move on too.

I then start talking to this other guy named Marvin. Marvin is cute. We start to be friends with benefits. He tells me "I would ask you out but you went out with two of my friends (Devon and Charlie) and I don't want to make you look bad." I completely understand.

Charlie comes up to me at school and asks "Can we be friends?" "Yeah." I say. We smile at each other and then he hugs me. Oh how much I love his hugs. How much I liked Charlie. Why did I like him so much? He was just amazing.

Charlie and I become friends with benefits again. I left Marvin behind because I liked Charlie. He was the one I wanted. My friend Jacky tells me, "I heard Charlie and Devon talking about you in class. They called you easy." I was really mad so I went up to Charlie and asked him why did he say that. "I never said that." He said. "Whatever." I said, then walked away because he was just so irrelevant to me at the moment.

The last day of school, I hear Charlie telling Devon and Marvin, "Monica's easy to get." I turn and yell at them "What!? I heard what you said!" I start walking faster and I'm so angry, not only with him, but with myself. I start thinking and I'm just like, damn, I have been easy... I feel myself turning really red. "No, I was telling them how you said you thought I called you easy!" Charlie says. "I know what I heard!" I say. Charlie chases me up to my bus and says "I'm sorry." I'm so mad, I just want to slap him! "Okay." I say then I hug him. It's the last day of school, I decided to just accept his apology. Wow I think to myself, he's been the biggest asshole to me, yet I still talk to him.

I'm in 8th grade now, Charlie's in high school. That means I don't see him anymore. We've lost total communication since the summer. I start dating other guys. I still like Charlie. I like him a whole lot. everybody knows it. As I was dating this one guy, he asked me "Do you still have feelings for any of your ex's?" "No, do you?" I said. "No", he says. He asked me the same question again later on. Why was he so concerned? I finally let it out and just said "Yes". I didn't wanna lie anymore. He broke up with me after that. I didn't even care.

I saw Charlie a few times around. I saw him Downtown and we were still cool. We said hi to each other, he still hugged me and all. I saw him at the park a few times, he would go play basketball. One day at the park, he asked me to kiss him. I loved him, but I said no. I didn't wanna seem easy anymore. I only kissed his cheek. I've never kissed him after that. I told myself that when I was in high school, I would admit to him and tell him that I love him.

My Freshmen year, I decide to go to the same high school as my older sister. I heard Charlie went there too, but he had transferred his Sophomore year. I had no intentions of going there for him. I didn't even know he went there before. But anyway, I didn't think of Charlie anymore. I was just doing me.

Next semester I see Charlie in school and I'm just like what? He transferred back? I just see him as a friend though. I say hi to him and he asks me for a hug. I see him a few times around school.

Later on, I start thinking. My feelings are growing back towards him. Why? I was so happy when he wasn't here. I know this is love now. It's real love.

Now I'm finally a Sophomore. Charlie has a girlfriend. They've been together since the beginning of the school year it seems. Wow, he loves her. He shows her off. Before, whenever he'd see me around while he was with her, he would let go of her hand. Now he doesn't do that anymore. He holds on. He's happy to be with her. Only if I had told him I loved him before, maybe things would've been different. Jesus Christ, I love that boy. I love him so much that seeing him happy, makes me happy. It use to kill me to see them together, but I've learned to be happy for the one you love. Because if he's happy, I'm happy. After all, I deserve happiness too. I guess we just weren't meant to be. Destiny chose it's way out for us. All along, I was loving the wrong one.