What Happens When The Fearless Cry?

Alone

*Rebecca's P.O.V*

I finally managed to make it through the end of the day without breaking down. Of all people, Xana had been the one to crush me. I just wanted to know why. What had I done? She'd always been so sweet...

"Hi, Becca!" My mom chirped as I slumped through the door.

I grunted and trudged upstairs, barely managing to stand. I heard my mom say something about cookies, but I ignored her. I was done with living. Why should I be forced to stay in a place where everyone hated me? I crawled into my room, not able to stand anymore. There was a huge pressure on my chest; I couldn't breath. I began to gasp for air, then it eventually subsided. I climbed into my bed and hid under the covers, beginning to bawl like a baby.

"FUCK!" I screamed into my pillow.

The mental anguish she caused gave me so much physical pain. I gasped for air as my sobs choked me.

"Becca? Are you alright?" My mom asked from outside of my door.

Either she was fucking ignorant or didn't want to deal with me.

"I'm fine," I managed, biting on m blanket.

"Ok, honey," She said, I listened as she walked away from my door.

"BITCH!" I screamed into my pillow.

If she really loved me she'd barge into my room and hold me. She'd tell me how perfect I was and tell me she loved me. But she did none of that. She chose to believe I was perfectly fine. That there was nothing wrong with her perfect little Rebecca. It made me sick. But she seemed to be happy; I guess that's why they say ignorance is bliss.

I sat in my bed, sobbing, for what felt like an eternity. You don't know how badly I wanted to take a cold piece of metal and drag it across my skin, but I made a promise to Xana that I wouldn't do it. Xana...if she really were my best friend she would never had said those awful things to me. She would never have betrayed me like that. I hated her. Since she was an enemy I didn't have to keep any promises, right? I shrugged my shoulders and went to my desk drawer. I pulled out a pencil sharpener. Innocent enough, but I used it in a more grotesque manner than sharpening pencils. When I got the blades out...you know. The first slice stung like a bitch, but it soon faded into a dullness. I sighed with exhaustion after I made my final cut, then set the bloodied razor down.

"I still feel like shit..." I mumbled, shaking my head.

Once I cleaned myself up, I went straight to bed. The next morning, I dreaded waking up and going to school. Fortunately, my mom was a dumb fuck and believed me when I said I was sick.

"Really?" I asked, forgetting my sick act when she agreed to let me stay home.

"Of course, if you're not feeling well then stay home and rest," She said, kissing my forehead and giving me a smile.

I laid back down and curled into the fetal position under my covers. The warmth made me feel so safe, Xana couldn't hurt me under here. No one could. Not even me.

*Xana's P.O.V*

"Xana! Let's go!" Andy yelled from downstairs as I hurried to get ready for school.

I gave myself one final look-over and ran downstairs. I tripped on the last step and fell into Andy. He pushed me off of him, back on my own two feet. He scowled at me and walked away. I sighed sadly and followed him to the car. All I wanted to do was tell him how sorry I was, that I hadn't meant for this shit to happen. I just wanted us to be friends again.

We sat in the car in an awkward silence, not even looking at each other. I muttered a goodbye when we reached my school. It burned when he didn't even acknowledge me. I wish Tiffany would care enough for me to tell her.

"Hey!" Tiffany chirped as she saw me walk by.

"Hey," I said, giving her a slight smile.

"Y'okay?" She asked, cocking her head at me.

"Yeah, just tired," I lied.

"You sure? I'm here if you need to talk," She said, putting her hand on my shoulder.

I began to tear up; she really did care. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tight. She did the same to me. When I eventually pulled away, she wiped her teary eyes.

"Why are you crying?" I asked, wiping my own.

"Because you're sad," She said, choking down a sob.

I grabbed her into an embrace again and squeezed tighter.

"I'm not sad, I promise," I whispered in her ear.

We hugged until the bell for first period rang, then we slowly pulled apart. Her mascara was running and her eyes were puffy. I grabbed a tissue from my bag and wiped it away.

"How fucked up do I look?" She asked with a laugh.

I laughed as well, wiping my own eyes.

"You're gorgeous as always," I told her.

"So are you," She said, smiling.

We hurried to class together and managed to slip in just as the final bell rang. The rest of the day we were inseparable, aside from the classes we didn't have together. She seemed to notice something was up when I be anxious about going home.

"Hey, don't worry about your dad and Andy. Everything will be okay, I promise," She said, looking me in the eyes.

"Thank you," I mouthed, hugging her.

Andy beeped the horn of the car and I hurried over to him. I hopped in the front seat and waved good-bye to Tiffany. She waved back and got into her mom's car. When we reached home after a long car ride filled with awkward silence, I hurried to my room. I grabbed my phone and talked to Tiffany for the longest time, then my dad informed me of dinner.

"How was school, Xana?" He asked as I sat down.

"Good," I said quietly.

"I saw you talking to that girl, what's her name?" Andy asked.

"Tiffany," I responded, picking at my food.

"Yeah, her," He said angrily.

"I don't like her," My dad said, shaking his head.

"Sorry," I mumbled, picking at my dinner.

He muttered a "whatever" and continued eating. Andy looked at me sympathetically and then back at his food. I smiled lightly at him and looked at my plate. Everything I did seemed to piss my dad off...everything.