"I'm selfish, I'll admit that.
I want all of me and all of you,
But that's not how this works, we trade,
But I just can't, my life is too crumbled to be given away, to someone so pure.
You don't deserve and shouldn't want someone as worn out as myself,
I can't let you do that, you need someone whole and willing to give everything to you, unconditionally.
I, on the other hand have nothing to conditionally give. And that hurts.
To know that I must not be selfish and have you, for you want more than I can give.
I will eternally love and adore you forever.
But I know you shan't me, so to save myself later pain I realise you, before it's too late.
I never will be everything that you desire, you are too caught up in the idea of love that you have forgot what it must give one another, and I shall never be able to give that to you,
I hope you understand, my love
I hope someone else can give you everything I cannot.
And most of all I hope that you are truly inexplicably happy with whom ever that maybe.
It just shan't ever be myself."
The words tumbled past her lips perfectly as if she had rehearsed it multiply times so she could be sure that no emotion would show when delivering the speech on record, but he could see the hurt in her eyes for he knew her all too well. He expected this, for he studied her personality and it was all too clear to him that she thought of herself as unworthy. It was obvious that she didn't quite know him, for he didn't want everything, nor did he need it, he knew she wasn't perfect and she didn't strive to be, that is what he loved. Her imperfections.
A tear slid down his face, he had been betrayed, he knew that his love for her would be eternal, yet she doubted it.
He would never move on, and never did, nor did she. But the universe is funny and sometimes miracles can happen, so on the off chance that on one particular autumn morning, he gathered his things heading to the airport, for he had made the decision to travel alone. He might just end up with a seat next to his miracle. Her.
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Natsukashii 🌹
