the story of her

2

she reminds me of the first time I got high
full of expectation, possibility
something new, unknown
blunt to the lips like her fingers when they trace,
she soothed me
inhale, exhale, repeat
and it was never like everyone had always said it would be
bouncing off walls crazy and a sudden rush of happy
i became still, found my soul to be at peace in the present and my body falls silent
she makes me buzz
music became louder,
paid attention to the lyrics, found her in them, repeat
wanted it all the time
not addicted, committed
she was never a gateway drug
once I found her I never reached for anything else
i never yearned for her in my bloodstream, just my lungs
reminding myself that I am alive because she keeps me

it's been 3 weeks and I'm off the drugs
but she remains in every fucking inhale