Those Left Behind

The Secrets They Keep

Authors Note: Please note this may or may not be from real life...

It was Grade seven. We were hanging out together again, another recess just talking about life... it was great. Every recess... so foolish we were then. Mostly innocent minded, not all though. We were just as crazy as now, or at least I am. Didn't really think anything about this, we were friends and just that, we both didn't want anymore of it, at least right now. I didn't expect much that would be wrong, I believed we were really close, that we would have trusted each other and shared everything that would be going wrong. Now i know she didn't, not as innocent as she seemed. But earlier i hadn't expected someone who seemed so happy to be so broken on the inside, I'm surprised she still was here with me today...

The day she had told me, out of anger, I was shocked. I nearly cried on the spot.

"How!? Why?" I was speechless. How could my thoughts been wrong? I thought all was good, but she wasn't who she seemed. "Maybe it was a joke?"  I hoped. I thought. But it clearly wasn't. My whole mind at the moment was confused but I began to rage. Angered by the thought she hadn't told me sooner.

"What do you think Cam?" She asked in annoyance.

"How could you not have told me earlier? You could have been dead by the time I found out about this! You shouldn't be hiding this! This is dangerous! What the hell have you been doing! This is off the charts!" I screamed. I began to cry. This can't be real... Can it? I couldn't get myself straight. I ran...

"Wait!" She screamed. I was already gone.

Running to the washroom, I splashed my face. I needed to wake up. wake up! I kept telling myself. At this age anything like that would freak someone out, maybe not at my current age, but it still is considering suicide and death is involved. I Had attempted to calm myself for 10 minutes when another person came in.

"Hey Cam!" He called out. I looked up, I was crying. There was no hiding it. I couldn't find any words to talk back to him, he walked over.

"I..." I blurted, but ended up lost for words. He stood beside me and stared into the mirror, confused what I'd be sad about.

"Were you injured?" He asked concern in his voice. I shrugged, "What's wrong? What happened!" He yelled out, he was starting to worry.

"I... Ugh. I Don't want to talk about it..." I whispered, my tears continuing falling down my cheek.

"Look. I'm your friend... talk to me!" He began, beginning to raise his voice.

"Its personal. Too personal right now..." I lied. It's pretty clear she didn't want the whole school knowing about it, so I would protect it, or at least for now. I wiped my face again, and left the washroom.

The bell rang

Heading to class, I grabbed my binder and began walking to the class, trying not to notice her. Her being in my class was stressful, but back then most tiny things would seem that way, so I wasn't to blame. Sitting through another boring period, fearing her life. I was struggling, way more than I should have. 

I took the bus to the nearest bus stop to my home. I began to walk, all this thoughts being thrown back and forth between my head. "How have I not noticed? Am I that bad of a friend? What can I do?" I thought. The thoughts running back and forth through my head, like a game of tennis. I nearly didn't make it home before I had a nervous breakdown.