She loves counting stars

Wanna live my day?

I like it when I am not hungry while leaving for school even if I don’t eat anything in the morning, its not the same on holidays. I’m always late for school, so I grabbed my lunch and water and tried to leave as soon as possible. I took my ice breakers gum in my mouth before leaving to keep my mouth fresh and got some weird feeling I tried to ignore. I was on my way to college, already 10 minutes late from the time. Mom said to drive slow and safe, I feel bad about how much she cares for me when I don’t care a single time. I never mind if I am crashed or dead on way while driving, but her words make me drive safe.

I always fall in thoughts while driving, like how I don’t care for my life. How it doesn’t matter to me If I die, like I don’t have much to do with it. The moment I realize my parent’s care for me I feel like forcing myself to live, to be safe and never suicide. It was red signal so I stopped by way, I saw time it was 11.15. Class must be already started and I’m late. I stared the ring I was wearing. It was shining in the sunshine, it had silver stones studded in an infinity symbol. I can memorize that moment when me and Mike were sitting in the movie theatre and suddenly he grabbed my hand in the dark and I felt some movement in finger of my right hand.

“What are you doing Mikey?” I asked.

“It’s er… It’s just a birthday gift for my love.” He whispered in my ear.

“Stop kidding, I know it’s the bottle seal like last time you did huh” I laughed.

He grabbed my hand and kissed it. I asked “Are you serious? I know you’re kidding okay.”

I tried to light on my hand with my phone. I could see the infinity shining on my last second finger of my right hand. “Mr. Micheal Alexander, is it a diamond ring in my hand? Oh my god is it?” Rings are the one jewelry I’ve always been passionate about, not the diamond rings though it was by him, so I loved it.

“Oh no, it’s just a bottle seal” He giggled.

“Thank you so much Mike. I never knew your choice was fabulous! I love you.”

He shrugged and kissed on my forehead. I remained wondered how he got the idea of buying the ring for me, I know it’s obvious, but just because I love rings I liked to wonder what would have happened and how he’d have chosen this pretty ring at the store.

Infinity is the symbol that expresses the feeling of love, how it is going to remain the same forever and always for the infinite time period of life that is throughout the whole life.

Actually surprises were never his cup of tea. He was a simple person who doesn’t know how to make girls happy by these formalities of wishes and gifts. I could see the truth in his eyes, it didn’t matter to me if he expressed it or not.

The signal light turned green and I got to the present by the blowing horns and the noise from a car accelerating beside mine. The air blew through my eyes and I could feel the chillness in them due to the teardrops. I don’t know how they come that easily and make my eyes go wet and the vision gets blurry. But I know how to drive in this situation because this is part of my routine. Singing songs and crying while driving is my routine. It’s so easy to fall in thoughts when you’re driving, watching the scenes pass by, leaving the places once passed behind and looking forward for new ones.

I crossed the bridge singing Imagine Dragons- Demons.. I have always loved this song..

I wanna hide the truth

I wanna shelter you

But with the beast inside

There’s nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed

We still are made of greed

This is my kingdom come

This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat

Look into my eyes

It’s where my demons hide

It’s where my demons hide

Don’t get too close

It’s dark inside

It’s where my demons hide

It’s where my demons hide

I don’t actually understand the song, but I kind of feel like it’s what my heart wants to sing. Every time that I listen this song, it tries to tell me that it’s my song, my words, my heart feels blessed by it’s music, voice and song. Never heard Imagine dragons before, but this song touches my heart, like made for me.

I reached to my destiny; I walked from the parking to the building. Some girls were stuck on phone like usual; some were waiting for their friends. I had no one to wait for as I was already late. I walked through the way, I saw some guys walking as if they are kings, some were sitting as if they have no class to attend, a perfectly lit day, the sun was shining over my head, it felt good as if I am free of the four walls of my room.

 The trees, the color of flowers made me stop for a while in the sunshine. I was already late for my first lecture, but I stopped as if my body doesn’t want to go ahead. I could see nothing what was there in front of my eyes, but it felt good. I was feeling lazy to walk another step, I could feel perfect standing beside the fence; the pale green leaves with pretty blood red Hibiscus, my feet as close as they could be. I stared at them and then to the flowers. For a moment I forgot where I was going or who I am. I liked to stand there, it felt better and new, but actually I do it often while walking in the campus. I felt some guys staring sitting on the grass in the park. It was pitiful but I had to attend the class so I left. I wondered those guys might think I was a psycho maniac.

I reached my class and in a while the lecture was over. It was funny because he was on the last slide of his chapter when I reached and it finished as I reached. He never scold me for getting late but I’m afraid If someday he might.

And we all laughed after he left as it was funny enough for us.

My friends started discussing the topics he taught and exams. I was never interested in their discussion related to studies. I didn’t know what day, date, and what time it was; or which month it was; which chapter he taught us; when the exams were; what is our syllabus.

“Hey Abbie! Where are you?” It was Luanna, my classmate, lifemate, we were together since school.” “Listen the chapter is over. You’re late again!”

“I know. I was stuck in traffic and okay I can’t wakeup on time.” I tried to lie. “Let’s go out for a while Luiee”

“Sure. It’s break time!”

We moved from the boring class to the outside corridor. Watching people passing by and talking about them was what we always used to do since last two years of our college life.

“Nice bag!! Is it your first class? I’d never seen you before. You can sit here.” I still remember her first words when we met. And there were two more girls with her. Elsie and Nina, who are now not much into us, we were never so comfortable with them as they are way too girlie, they like to show attitude to others and always worried about their clothes and hair, needing people to do their jobs, underestimating others. Thank god they are not with us now.  I hate when someone explains what she can do all the time even if there’s nothing extra ordinary then what you and we do.