South Park One-Shots

I Guess I'm Gay (Style)

[Might make you cringe. Just saying. I'm not the best writer XD but please enjoy if you can!]

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"Hey fag!"

"SHUT UP CARTMAN!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose in annoyance. "Guys. Please not right now. It's too early."

They ignored me and kept fighting, "MAKE ME JEW!" I sighed and put in my earbuds. "DONT PUSH ME FATASS."

"IM NOT FAT, IM BIG BON-"

"THATS A LIE AND YOU KNOW IT!"

I turned up my music. Just Like You by Falling In Reverse.

I am aware

That I am an asshole

Who the hell cares

About all of that though?

I scoffed at that. It reminds me of Cartman. He's such an asshole to poor Kyle. You'd think he'd stop after our junior year, but no. He's still a giant asshole.

"STAN!" I jumped as I realized my left earbud was taken out and Kyle had been saying my name.

"Uh... what?"

"Tell Cartman that we're not dating!"

I glanced at Cartman and saw him smirking. I raised an eyebrow and looked back down at him. "But... why does it matter?"

He looked confused for a few moment before his cheeks start turning pink. "How cute." I thought.

"STAN! You're not helping!" He said blushing even more as Cartman laughed rather loudly behind him.

I took out my other earbud and turned to face him completely, smiling slightly. "Who cares if we're dating or not? Let them think what they want to."

Kyle's eyes widened, "Are you fucking joking me right now?" He hissed.

"Hm.. not sure. Am I?" I ask while smirking.

"UGH, THIS ISNT FUNNY!'"

Cartman speaks up through his laughing fit, "You're right! It's hilarious!!"

I chuckle as Kyle punches my chest, but not hard enough to hurt. He's always been weaker than most and absolutely adorable. "Stan!" He whines, "You know damn well that we're not dating."

I smirk again and inch my face closer to his, "But you wish we were." He blushes even more and looks like he stopped working.

"Ew. That's too gay. I think I might throw up." Cartman says as he turns his back on us, making gagging noises.

By now the redhead has recovered from what I said. "UH... N-NO I DONT!" He says quickly as he avoids eye contact with me.

"Can you guys just fuck already?" I look over and notice Kenny sitting on the ground. I didn't see him walk over.

"KENNY! WHAT THE FUCK, WHEN DID YOU GET HERE??" Kyle asks a little too loudly for my liking.

He pops a piece of gum into his mouth before responding, "Hm... about 5 minutes ago."

Kyle takes a deep breath. "Don't tell me you actually think me and Stan are dating."

"I didn't say that. I just said you guys need to fuck."