outcries of a teenaged loser

Spring - Sophomore

January:

Some are missing
Some are light
In heart
And in eyes
And your dark gaze
Rests on my forehead
Ignoring my existence;
You have to talk to me
Unfortunately.
My hand grazes yours
You back away
And with you take
My light that is missing;
The winning match of the game
And my matchbox full of memories
Is burned up in your flames,
Oh inferno of my season
Light me up
Let me cry on my own shoulder
And twist around to hug myself
No friends to comfort me
The sum still missing
Because you were all that was left
And you left me.

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February:

Is it fun to watch me bleed?
With my crushed sparrow wings
Pinned up in your hands
As I'm pining for you,
My sweet sadist
Your name implies the opposite
But I become a masochist for you,
You shoot me out of the sky
And I drown on blood and ocean
Hollowing out my throat to only speak your name,
My sweet sadist
Your name makes my heart bleed
I'm a sullen little goth kid
And you're a broken athlete
So what are we?
Wind me up and set me on your shelf
Let me whir to life and fill the void with noise
Drown out the sound of blood rushing to your cheeks
And through my crooked teeth,
Wind me up and watch me bleed
It's fun to watch me bleed.

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Crush:
My crush crushes me
Underneath
the vending machine
Wires and limbs and broken glass
Bleeding sleeves will never last.
Hit me once shame on you
What was I supposed to do?
Hit me twice and I'm a fool
There's no place to read at school.
Cry bloody murder
Murder me
A flock of crows, grades slipped to B;
Averaging
what my chances were
But it's too late I hit the floor
16 years and still a bore.
Crying out for all to see
Shocking shark fact 23
thirty-seven, one was me.

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Sleeveless:
How can I wear my heart on my sleeve?
The shirt I wear comes to my knees
Too big for you, a dress on me
A sleeveless shirt that makes me free.
Where to wear my sleeveless heart
It will be etched into my arm
You never liked a girl in ink
I wash it off into the sink
Gouge out my eyes don't let me blink
From your hands I will bleed
I look to you, my only need,
You pry my heart off of my sleeve.
Your shirt you should know doesn't have sleeves.

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Window filled room:
Class is gone but you're still here
I was trying to find peace without you near
Broken twisted on the ground
My brain's sadness has no bounds
I explore the darkened caves
The water you are has eroded away
All the stone from the mountain of me
And you took my seat
And I'm in this window filled room
But I can't breathe
Because you keep the windows closed.