Neverland [ ✓ ]

Day 13

ENTRY:
3:22 AM

I'm having difficulty remembering, now. 

I think the rest of that year went by with little significance. My mind is running a blank for it, so it must have. I'm lost.

ENTRY:
3:59 AM

Though, that year, I felt alone. 

It seemed like everyone around me was leaving faster than I could keep up. Disappearances, moves, transfers. They were all leaving somehow and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. The disappearances scared me, the moves saddened me, and the transfers made me nervous. I never knew who was next and why they'd go.

Dwindling. 

ENTRY:
6:49 AM

Somewhere between my second and third year of high school, Peter finally told me how he died. 

It was sudden and I hadn't expected him to give up the information I was requesting of him. Always so secretive, Peter was. Once presented with such a big reveal, I wasn't sure what to do or how to react.

He told me that he died quickly, painlessly, and for the greater good of himself. That's how he'd put it, anyway. He went similarly to my mother, but in accordance to him, it wasn't quite suicide. But he didn't get more specific to that, so I created my own scenarios. I couldn't begin to comprehend how doing such a thing to yourself- or, let such a thing happen to yourself- could be for any greater good, for him or for anyone.

"But I'm still here," He'd pointed out despite my dismay in this newly found information. "What if it hadn't happened?"

I thought on this for a moment.

"You..." I hesitated. "You may not be here."

"Right." He'd nodded. "What if I hadn't been here?"

I fidgeted anxiously with the buttons on my shirt as this conversation carried forth. My morality clashed with his reasoning. I didn't figure any mere person was typically faced with such a dilemma as this, and partially, I resented that I- of all- had to admit the obvious. 

"I'd be dead." I concluded grimly, sadly, but truthfully. 

It wasn't long after this that he made the decision to take me somewhere. That somewhere, though, ended up being a place I never thought I'd go. I'd never thought about such technicalities before then; Peter, my shadow figure, my long dead boy. It had never truly occurred that he had once had a physical body, no, I'd never given it deep consideration like I began giving it when he led me out of the house and into the woods.

We walked in silence.

ENTRY:
12:00 AM

It was a few miles from the cabin, deep into the woods across a wide creek, some dark paradise. The woods had appeared so dense and full that I thought we may never find it; but we did find it, we found him. It was something to behold when I stepped from the trees and into a clearing almost perfectly encircled by the tall pine.

"Here?" I'd asked, lost eyes searching for a marker.

In response, wordlessly, Peter raised his arm and pointed to the far left of the clearing. Hesitantly, I followed his direction, scuffling through the grass. The closer I grew, the more apparent his location became; there was only one small bare patch of dirt in the vicinity, and in the midst of it, a small white flower bobbing it's head sleepily in the wind. I remember turning to peer over my shoulder at him, but I didn't have to- he was already by my side. Together, we stared at the ground.