The Lost Soul

    I sat on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I stared until the cracks crawled farther across the white paint. I turned my head to the window, light followed and specked on the dust in the air. I looked on to outside, the grass was grey and the sky was white. The leaves fell and crumbled as they touched the ground. Ashes formed quickly in piles and I stared, no expression on my face. My fingers sat on my bed, tapping slowly as the black and white scene reflected in my eyes.
    "Hey, Mort, you in there?" I recognized the voice from behind the door, it sounded harsh and raspy. I blinked and the reflection disappeared in my now icy blue eyes. I grabbed the sheets as my hand balled into a fist and color returned my gaze to the room. As I looked outside, green returned to the grass and the bright red and yellow leaves were creating a small pile at the base of the tree. The sky was blue and the light shimmered onto my face, yellow light hit the dust in the air. I sat up and faced the door, almost forgetting that my friend was outside. "Mortem? Are you there?" The voice was worrying, yet, it was full of light.
    "Yeah, yeah, I'm in here," I paused and looked around my room. The carpet was bright yellow, pink, and green. I looked up at the ceiling, the cracks had disappeared and returned to their normal state, "Come in, Vie."
    The door opened slowly and Vie came in, his hair was ruffled and in rich golden locks compared to my dry silver hair. I looked at him and he blinked his bright hazel eyes, "Hey, are you okay?" I turned my body, my legs now crossed over the bed and my toes touched the floor softly. The light from the window easily caught my hair and the side of my face, half lighting it up. My hair turned to golden strands and the opposite side of my face darkened in shadow. My skin was pale and I looked deeply sick to anyone that didn't know me, but I knew this wasn't the cause for his question. It was most likely the way my eyes trembled in the non-usual color of the world and the way my hands were still in a fist at my side.
    I looked at my feet as they hung loose, my toes getting lost in the forest of colorful carpet. I squinted my eyes and pulled my hands up to my face, covering my eyes and my mouth as I began to cry. I quickly shook my head and I felt the hot light immediately turn cold. I wanted to scream, it was happening again. Why couldn't I control it? I dug my nails into my cheekbones and hairline and pulled up my feet to the edge of the bed. I pressed my face into my knees and I was gasping for the non-existent air in the world of nothing. As soon as I felt an arm around me, I bit my lip. "Mort, you're doing it again..." The voice was raspy yet again and I removed my hands from my face. I felt his presence. He was there, but just not able for me to see. I shook my head and his hands went into my hair, "Mortem, please look into my eyes and breathe." I turned my head to where he would be sitting. I knew he could see me; it's just me that can't see him.
    I lifted my head to about where his eyes would meet mine and I felt a hand on my chin. It rose my head up a little more to the side and I blinked. His hazel eyes quickly glistened in the warm light again and the colors returned to the scene. I quickly hugged him around his neck, my tears still streamed down my face and I had begun to shake. He hugged me tightly back and whispered into my ear, "Mort, don't worry, I'm here."
    I sniffled and caught my breath, my hands relaxed and I begun to stop shaking. "Why am I like this?" I asked quietly as if he knew the answer, so it wasn't surprising when he didn't respond and a silence filled the room. I removed my grip on him and he did as well. I looked at my knees as my feet slid down to the ground again. I bit my lip until I broke the silence, "Why do I have this power? To kill things? I don't want to kill things!" I yelled the last word and groaned, laying back onto the sheets. My back cracked as I was stretched in an awkward position, so I slid down to the side of the bed and laid my legs on the ground, Vie had begun to follow me down but more swiftly than I. "Every time I go into that... that... horror film, I freak out. Most of the time, I can't control it. I get lost at school because I can't see anyone. I'm afraid to touch the people I do see or else they'd commit suicide sooner than when they are intended to. I can't save people like you can! Why can't I just live this normal life? I hate how I have to deal with this... this... this minefield!" Tears streamed down my cheeks and Vie grabbed onto my shoulders again. He knew that he can't say anything when I rant or I might get mad at him... That wouldn't end up so well.
    Vie returned his hands to my hair and pulled my head up to look at him, "Mort, you aren't bad. You can't control this because you're young, you will lea-"
    "I don't want to learn!" I cut him off and pulled his hands out of my hair. I turned away from him and sat the opposite way, my head fell down to look at my lap. I stared at the small strands of grey hair that had split ends, I could never prevent that from happening since my hair was already dead. I sighed softly and said in a hushed tone, "Vie... I've been living with this for my whole life... I've freaked out more than a thousand times... but... I guess I'm getting more used to it?... I'm scared... Am I getting pulled into this... this nightmare... and will I cause more problems than I have...?"
    I heard a sigh behind me and felt two hands wrap around my waist, but I didn't look up. My buttocks dragged against the bright colored carpet as Vie pulled me to him, "Mortem... what happened to your brother isn't your fault... he was already depressed, you were young, you didn't know better..."
    Tears fell down my almost dry cheeks and I wanted to scream, voices in my head told me to scream, but they weren't mine. They were his. "But, it was my fault. If I didn't see him... If I didn't touch him... Mom wouldn't have found him that night..." I squinted my eyes and tried to prevent the black and white memories from entering my mind yet again. My nails begun to dig into my knees and I tried to stop anything from changing for a third time that day.
    Vie sighed quietly, almost unnoticeably. He shook his head slowly and put his chin on the back of my bent head, "Please don't get caught up in this, it wasn't you fault that you saw him. We don't know what was... just please don't blame yourself if it was bound to happen anyway..." He got quiet as I continued to cry. Slowly, my tears went away and the sounds became sniffs, but I didn't remove my hands from my knees. He continued after another moment of sniffs, he knew I was listening, "Hey... If I knew about what was going to happen, I could have helped prevent it. I know I would have. So, it's not fully your fault."
    I moved my head and he removed his. Slowly, I turned back to face him, still sitting in a criss-cross position. "Thanks, Vie..." I looked up at him a little and I noticed he was looking down. Following his gaze, I noticed that he was looking at my hands. I bit my lip and slowly loosened the grip on my knees. I felt bad. I put him through all of this horror and he still dealt with me... I was such a mess.
    Vie smiled softly when I looked back up at him. He looked quietly at me and tilted his head as if he was a dog. I smiled softly, sniffled, and patted his nose. "Hey, I'm glad I don't have to ever worry about seeing you in the other world." He laughed at me and hugged me, it seemed that he was happy that I was back to my funny old self. I smiled and closed my eyes, hugging him back and I breathed in the air of the room.