Unconditionally

(Yuri's POV)

"Goodbye, you two!"JJ called out in a drunken slur, waving an empty glass around as if conducting a choir. Viktor laughed loudly as he watched the drunk figure skater stumble towards the exit of the hotel. "Goodbye, JJ," he called in his thick Russian accent. "Take the bus home, okay? You can't drive like this!" Viktor shook his head, then looked at me. He was still dressed in his wedding tuxedo. It was as still so surreal. But I had to process it: I am Viktor Nikiforov's husband. He looked so handsome tonight....

I felt my face flush. He smiled, and took my hand. I smiled to myself, holding in a nervous giggle. I was looking forward to being alone in the hotel's elevator with my new husband. 

Viktor opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it when a man walked up behind us, looking intently at the close elevator doors. At first I was startled. I had completely forgotten that we were in a public place. A hotel lobby, to be exact. 

 I furrowed my brow. Couldn't he go to some other elevator? But, of course, the doors opened, and the three of us got inside. I groaned internally, but didn't say anything as Viktor pushed the buttons for the eighth floor, and at the word of the other man, the third. Viktor was still holding my hand. He looked at me, and gave my hand a subtle squeeze, as if to say "Soon". I tried not to stare at Viktor's lips. The other man stood awkwardly in the corner, not making eye contact with either of us. I anxiously stared at the floor counter, watching it change from 1, to 2, to 3. The doors were open, and the man left hurriedly. Once the doors closed, Viktor turned to me and smiled. I breathed a sigh of relief. At last, I could melt into my husband's arms. I looked at his mouth, trying to convey my message without words. He leaned towards me, running his fingers through my hair. Our lips brushed. Suddenly, the doors were opening. I jumped away from Viktor as an older couple walked in, and the lady pressed the button for floor 9. Disappointment welled in me. Would Viktor and I never be alone?The couple tried to make pleasant conversation, and Viktor, being the charmer that he is, easily picked it up, although his face was still flushed. I watched the floor counter again. 6...7....The doors opened on floor 8. Viktor took my hand and pulled me out, not saying a word. He walked swiftly down the hall, with me stumbling behind him. His walk was as urgent as his expression. I watched the room numbers fly."Viktor...slow down," I panted, brushing my hair out of my eyes. He looked back at me, concern filling his eyes."Are you alright?" he asked, slowing his steps. I nodded, suddenly filled with desire to touch and hold him, even stronger than before. We had agreed not to kiss in front of others. Not because we were afraid, but we thought that some moments should just be shared between the two of us. And after our first kiss on national television, we wanted to lie low. 

Our room was just down the hall now. Viktor pulled me to a stop and fumbled in his coat pocket for the room key. When he found it he hurriedly unlocked the door and pulled me inside, slamming it behind us. He let go of my hand, and his back was turned to me. I was still breathing heavily from running behind Viktor down the hall. Viktor ran a hand through his platinum hair, then rubbed the back of his neck. I watched his shoulders fall in a sigh of relief, and he turned to face me. I couldn't breathe as he traced his finger on my jawline. Suddenly he had his hands on either side of my face, and was pulling me close. He kissed me passionately, and I closed my eyes, lost in the sensation of his lips against mine. He had me up against the door, and I held the back of his head. Butterflies flew around my stomach as my nerves set in. I had never done anything like this before. What if I was bad at it?

I suddenly felt Viktor's hands creeping up my suit. I panicked. What should I do? Should I feel him up to? In a rush of uncertainty I pushed his hands away. The disappointment and sadness that spread across his face broke my heart. I slid down the wall, and curled up, clutching my knees. I hid my face from him. I was too ashamed. 

I stayed like that for a moment, but then I felt Viktor sit next to me. He gently put his arms around me, resting his cheek on my cheek.

"What's wrong, Yuri?" he asked softly, and kissed my hair. 

"I..." I tried to speak, but suddenly felt embarrassed. 

"Come on, Yuri, you can tell me," Viktor said, squeezing me gently. I brought my face up and tried to look him in the eye. It wasn't easy.

"I'm afraid that I'll be bad at this," I admitted, as much as it pained me. A look of confusion brushed across Viktor's face.

"How could you possibly be bad at this?" he asked, rubbing my back with one hand. 

"It's just..." I started. "I've never done this before! I don't have any experience! I'm just a bumbling virgin. I'm sure you've done this before, and you're so handsome, and confident, and-"

"Yuri," Viktor cut me off. "I don't think you understand." He let go of me, and leaned back against the wall. "I don't care how bad you are. I don't care that you're a virgin. None of that matters to me. The only thing that could possibly matter is your happiness. There is no possible way you could disappoint me. I love you more than anything in this whole world." I felt a lump form in my throat as I looked at the man I loved so much. He didn't say 'I love you' very much. Not because he didn't love me, but he knew how to make a moment special. I clutched my knees again, and my heart swelled in my chest. I felt Viktor rest a hand on my back again.

"If you don't want to do this tonight," he whispered, "we don't have to, okay?" I nodded.

"I just want to hold you," I said, and quickly wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. He put his arms around me, and we sat like that, just holding each other. I held him tightly. I never wanted to let go. I lifted my head, and kissed him square on the lips. He held the back of my head, and I held his chest. 

"Let's get some rest," he said softly as we broke away. I nodded, and he lifted me into his arms. I cuddled into his chest as he walked over to the bed. He set me down gently, and just looked at me for a moment. I looked back into his eyes, no longer afraid. He ran his fingers through my dark hair, and I kissed his other hand, our matching rings glinting by lamp light. I smiled, knowing that there was nothing I could do that would make Viktor want to leave me. 

"I'm going to get changed, okay?" he whispered, and I nodded. Somehow in all of that my shirt had come off, so I quickly slipped my dress pants off until I was only in my underwear. I watched Viktor as he undressed, the sleek tone of his muscles mesmerizing me. He crawled into bed next to me, also in underwear. I looked at his face and he looked at me, reaching out a hand to stroke my cheek. I moved towards him and wrapped my arms around him again, and he did the same around me. 

"I love you, Yuri," he said. "Okay? Don't forget." I smiled. Two times in one night must mean something.

"I love you too, Viktor," I replied. "So much." I tilted my head to kiss him again and again. 

"And..." I faltered, biting my lip. "Maybe we can try this again tomorrow night." Viktor nodded, and kissed the top of my head.

"If you want to," he responded. "Only if you want to." 

I hugged him tighter, feeling the rhythm of his breathing and the sound of his heartbeat. I closed my eyes, knowing that I was safe. As long as I was with Viktor, I would always be loved. Unconditionally.