What I'm Missing (boyxboy)

Chapter 1

Picture of Ethan!

Ethan

I suppose I had the picture perfect life. I was involved in clubs, band, had many friends, and my parents were still together. I wasn't abused. I wasn't put through many hardships in my life. I was born into a poor family, but my dad made his way to the top from the scraps of the Earth. If he was able to do it, well then I could, too. I had no doubt that I was going to be something in my life. Ever since I was younger I had wanted to be a history teacher. The only thing was, I was only a junior in high school and I feel like I need to find love. 

Nobody in high school wanted to have a relationship that went further than senior year. Nobody wanted anything expect for sex. I wasn't about to go down that road of my life. I may have some kinks, but I wanted to share those with the person I was going to be with. 

I was a virgin.  I could've lost my virginity at any time I wanted. People always wanted to be with me since I was one of the more popular kids. I wasn't popular from being a jerk, though. I was just aware that I was good looking and I had money. People wanted to be nice to me to get things from me. I wasn't an idiot. 

The only thing that really kept me from doing anything, though, is the fact that I'm a flaming homosexual. Like I said, people always wanted to be with me, whether it be sexual or not, but I feel as though if I'm going to go through the pain, it better be with somebody that deserves to give me that pain. 

"Ethan!" Kyle snapped me out of my thoughts as I turned to him. I had forgotten that he was at my house. 

"Yeah, bud?" I asked. 

"Do you think that I'd be a good boyfriend to Carlos?" he looked at me with fear in his eyes. Kyle was my best friend. He and I talked about things like this every chance we got. He was just as flaming, if not more, than I was. Maybe that's why we got along so well in the first place.  

"Absolutely, man. You guys would be adorable together. Are things finally coming into place?" 

"Yes! Finally! He actually said yes when I asked him if he would go to the movies with me."

"That's fantastic! I'm happy for you." 

"When are you going to get a boyfriend, E?" he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Apparently not any time soon. Nobody wants to be with me for me. They all want me money. None of them want anything serious. I'm not looking to be somebody's fuck buddy for a couple months while they get angry at me for speaking with another human being but they're sexing up another handful of men. I don't feel like being in the 'talking' stage of a relationship where he would constantly tell others that we were nothing exclusive so if I find out he was messing with another he could just tell me that we weren't together anyway. I'm done with the bullshit. I'd rather stay single forever rather than be with a horrible guy that claims he's a man because he can get his dick hard and in somebody. Call me old fashioned, but I'd like to go on a date or two before I let someone get inside me." I scoffed. I hated this new way of living I hated that nobody ever went on dates with people anymore. It bothered me. On some level it honestly hurt to know people didn't want to be with me for who I am. 

Kyle sat there with his mouth agape. I don't think he thought I was going to rant about my views on modern ideals. 

"Sorry, bud. But it's the absolute truth. I think I'm going to go to the park for a while." I sighed. I got up and grabbed my jacket. It was just a light blue sweater than hugged my frame. I was upset to say the least. New York definitely showed me some things that I never have before, but this wasn't the city I was meant to be in. I don't know where I was supposed to be. But, I was only sixteen. I had time to figure that out for myself. 

I walked out of the house and closed the door lightly. My family counted Kyle as another son so they wouldn't mind if I left him there alone. My family wasn't home, anyway. So, it wouldn't have mattered. 

I sat on my favorite park bench. It gave me the perfect view of the beautiful trees and river. I would come here and I would write for hours. I would write everything from music to just about how my day was. I never thought I'd grow attached to this place. 

"This seat taken?" a husky voice inquired from behind me.