OCTOBER FIFTEENTH:
PERMEATING THE GARDEN
taehyung was a perennial, he would be up for a season and. then down. he always rose but he continued to falter and whimper under natures grasp.
he was in the middle of another one of his cycles. just getting over another nasty aching that prevented him from getting up from his bed.
this was his first time back up in weeks.
after their fights jeongguk realized it was the easiest for both of them to simply live with whatever choices were made and to live in the moment, he can't force a flower to grow if it isn't ready.
but taehyung lost some confidence in his growth after being down so often. now he wasn't sure anymore. but it sure as hell wasn't going to stop him. now he masked his fear with a quick tongue.
a bathrobe slung over his shoulders, collarbone exposed in the heat of october, taehyung squinted his eyes and sat in the grass beside jeongguk who was weaving his fingers close together.
"what are you doing you little bastard hm? no welcome back parties?"
jeongguk paused only a split second, stifling his mouth as taehyung ran his own. that was his specialty, running his mouth like no ones business.
a million ideas going in and out his head in only seconds, his mind had began to move faster now that he has more to explore than his bedroom, his mind churned and ran thoughts through his mind that he never knew existed.
some emotional, others physiological and others physical. he asked about girls a lot. he made jeongguk describe them the best he could. it was awkward at first but now it was a no brainer.
"you're a little bitch you
know that? ignoring me like i'm nothing." taehyung scoffed, throwing his arm back, not caring to feel his shoulders slow nakedness as the fold of the rob slid down the slope of his arm.
"ish would you shut up already?" jeongguk grunted, fingers still weaving in small motions before he stops, turning and pressing a soft crown of lilies on taehyung's growing hair.
taehyung looked up at the greenery on his head questionably, turning to jeongguk and expecting an answer.
"you're my flower boy..you're pretty and nice company..but you don't last long and at some point you'll die. but it's okay...i'll enjoy you while I can."
taehyung didn't say much at first, only picking at the grass beneath him, tearing them with his fingernails, slicing the blades of greenery."you know If it wasn't obvious before, I kind of hate you because you showed me all of this...and now one day i'm going to die and won't be able to rest in peace because I know there's an entire world that i'm missing out on."
"then get better, taehyung I showed you this so you'd want to be better."
"i understand but there's no cure for this jungkook—there's no cure for death. I have to accept that."
"if you accepted it back then you would've been dead by now. if you accept it now you'll die now—make the choice, live or die?"
——→
