Mine (Unedited) (Discontinued?)

Chapter 22

BEN felt so many conflicted feelings boiling inside him. He knew Kendra was in pain, and he so badly wanted to go to her and comfort her, but he was in pain too. He couldn't just pretend that she hadn't done anything wrong, because she did. She hurt him in so many ways by letting Jeff kiss her. Several times, according to Slender.

BEN sighed, closing his eyes against the ceiling of his bedroom. He'd been laying on his bed for about an hour or two now, and none of his thoughts were exactly positive. He'd debated playing video games to distract himself from the sharp pain in his chest, but he just wasn't feeling up to it. He wasn't really feeling up to doing any of his usual hobbies.

He felt miserable, pain making him want to roll over and pass out, anger making him want to throw something at the wall, and so many more emotions tearing at his insides and making him want to scream. BEN was exhausted from the walk home, from the overload of emotions, from everything but if he slept like he wanted to, he doubted he'd ever leave his bed again.

Needless to say, he was agonized. A few times someone knocked on his door, but he ignored it and pretended he just wasn't here. Honestly, that sounded great. Maybe he could figure out how to get the ground to swallow him so he wouldn't have to deal with this much pain?

"Benjamin, don't be ridiculous."

BEN jumped at the crackling voice suddenly filling his head. He looked to see Slender had managed to unlock his door and was now standing in the middle of his room with his arms crossed. The blond blinked, but didn't say anything. He really didn't feel like talking.

Slender sighed, rubbing his forefinger and thumb along his forehead, almost as if he was trying to soothe a headache. BEN watched him, remaining silent and waiting for the leader of the large, bizarre, killing family to say something.

"I understand you're in pain, but that does not mean you can shirk your responsibilities. You are the only one capable of going among the humans for any length of time and we need you to get more groceries. You've been gone for three weeks, and we are beginning to run low on a variety of things."

BEN nodded, waiting to see if that was all Slender wanted. He'd been doing a lot of waiting lately. Slender didn't say anything for a while, and BEN just stared. Finally, after a decent ten minutes, Slender sighed and turned to leave the room. BEN moved to get up, pausing when he noticed Slender was hesitating in the doorway.

"I'm sorry you're in pain, Benjamin," he said, his voice soft as he looked over his shoulder.

BEN nodded, pressing his lips into a firm line. He didn't want to talk about his heartbreak right now. He wanted to figure out what he was going to do without Kendra at his side, without the comfort of knowing that she was his. His heart squeezed, and he took a deep breath to try and relax it. Slender was right, he needed to take care of his responsibilities despite his pain.

Slender hesitated a few more moments before he left BEN alone to gather himself. The blond was grateful, but he really couldn't bring himself to feel anything but the screaming pain in his chest. He put his head in his hands, sitting there for a few minutes before rubbing them over his face and getting up.

He concentrated for a moment before he felt the tightness of his human body. He hated being in it, he felt trapped when he went on these errand runs. Kendra loved his eyes though, and that had made being in this body a little more bearable. Only, now she wasn't his anymore and the thought brought him another wave of pain.

He took a deep breath, preparing himself before he grabbed the money from it's usual spot and left his room. No one stopped him when he passed through the living room, which was another small thing to be grateful for. He really could use this time alone, if he was being honest with himself.

An hour into the walk, and BEN was glaring at the ground, his thoughts building a fire of anger in him. What did Jeff have that he didn't? Why did Kendra let him do that? He kidnapped and tortured her for fuck's sake! He grit his teeth, his glare turning to the path ahead of him as his fists clenched.

He hated them both. He wasn't about to let them take away his happiness. BEN had trusted Kendra, and she had gone behind his back and fucking made out with Jeff. The betrayal he felt couldn't even begin to be described by words. The anger building in his gut twisted, and he let out an enraged shout and turned to punch a tree.

A pain shot through his arm and he cursed loudly. Fuck, why had he done that? He examined his hand, scowling as he noticed the splinters sticking out of his fingers and the inflamed swelling of his wrist. He'd probably broken it, which made him question his stupidity. He wasn't a fighter, he could barely defend himself against a human if they decided to attack him, why the hell did he feel the need to punch a fucking tree?

He knew the answer, of course, but that didn't douse the burning frustration with himself that was building alongside the anger. He began picking out the splinters, resuming his walk while he scowled at the tiny pieces of wood embedded into his skin. It was going to be hell trying to get those out.

BEN ignored the throbbing pain in his wrist, trusting that it would be fine by the time he got back home. He sighed, realizing he'd probably have to hide it so the humans he'd have to interact with wouldn't freak. This was going to be a long couple of days. He'd be lucky if he didn't get an infection while in his human body.

He shoved his injured hand in the pocket of his jacket, not wanting to turn back and go to Slender for help like he probably should. He really needed this alone time desperately.

Kendra's smile flashed through his head, making a throbbing ache more painful than his wrist take place in his chest. The anger reared it's ugly head again, and BEN had to suppress the urge to scream at the sky. He should have known he wouldn't be able to get over her that quickly. Just because there was a momentary lapse in pain didn't mean it wasn't going to come back.

He kicked at a pebble on the ground and glared when it only moved forward a few feet. He wanted it to go sailing, he wanted his kick to make it fly away and out of his sight along with his feelings. He wanted all of this pain to fuck off and leave him alone so he could feel better and get over the most perfect girl he had ever met.

Kendra had been everything to BEN, and she had ruined him. How could he forgive her for that?

BEN sighed, pausing in his walk to look around and ignore the pain in his hand as it went from a dull ache to burning throb. He couldn't help but compare his emotional pain to his physical pain. At first everything was kind of dull--not really happening as long as he didn't acknowledge it--but as time went on he had to accept that Kendra had betrayed him and his pain turned into a fiery anger that disguised how hurt he felt.

BEN realized he was starting to repeat himself as he discussed his emotions in his mind. He sighed, running his broken hand through his hair without thinking before cursing at the sharp sting that shot through his knuckles and wrist.

Maybe he should turn back? He considered the thought before the image of Kendra in Jeff's arms flashed through his mind. The anger coursed through him and he decided he really didn't want to see either of them for a while. He'd deal with the pain.