The Girl Who Sat in the Corner

Chapter 10 - School

Kai wasn't in school on Monday and Wesley spent a good part of the day convincing himself there was nothing to be too concerned about. He hadn't expected to see her online over the weekend, but he had checked each night, anyway.

On Tuesday, she wasn't there either. After homeroom, a couple of things bothered him. He didn't remember hearing Ms. Hasness calling her name when she took attendance. His mind must have been somewhere else, but he couldn't help sensing there was something off in the usual cadence of names.

And then there was Gail Fillmore. She walked by his desk, pausing briefly to look down at him. He thought she was going to give him trouble again, but there was none of the usual mischief in her eyes. In fact, he couldn't tell what they said, but they were softer than he had ever seen them.

All of this bothered him through the day. That night, by the time he got tired enough to sleep, a series of thunder squalls with heavy rain started parading by like moving war zones and kept him awake until the early morning hours.

On Wednesday, her seat was empty again. This time, he listened...

"Phan"

"Here"

"Rogers"

"Yo!"

"Sanchez"

"Here"

"Tully"

"Yes"

"Waters..."

A chill coursed through him. Did she leave school? Or transfer to another? Was she really sick? Whatever it was, he blamed himself. If he just followed through stood up for her, it would have just been another bus ride with one, or both of them getting bullied, as usual. She may have gotten mad at him again for trying to help, but wouldn't have mattered. Someday, she would probably forgive him.

His mind kept churning and he decided to ask Kronk when he saw him that afternoon. Maybe he would know.

It was impossible for Wesley to concentrate that day. He spent most of it staring out the rain-spattered windows and replaying Friday afternoon's bus ride back in his mind as if thinking about it how it would have been different could change it. But each time the word "worthless" he felt hanging from his neck got heavier and heavier. Finally, it was time to go to work in the lab.

On a table near Kronk, Jake and Monica had one of the Dell desktop computers torn open and were pulling out the hard drive and they joked about how puny it was compared to the gaming machines they had at home. Wesley walked over to Kronk and sat down in the chair beside his desk.

"Have you heard anything about a girl named Kai Tangle? She's in my homeroom." Wesley asked, hoping he wasn't showing as much worry or concern as he was feeling.

Something suddenly happened to Kronk's face. In fact, it showed in his whole body. The teacher-mask started to crack and there was something like fear in his eyes, something that Wesley couldn't imagine a teacher showing a student. Kronk suddenly looked very different, out of place, as if he had run into him unexpectedly at the supermarket.

There was a long pause. Kronk's eyes darted up, down, then across the room as if he was looking for an answer.

Kronk quickly pulled the teacher mask back on and sat up. "Wesley, you know we have policies and rules about these things. We just can't talk to students about other students. We have to respect people's privacy."

Wesley's fear suddenly turned to anger. Kronk knew something and was hiding it. His body stiffened. "Tell me!" he demanded with more force than he planned. "Please," he added a moment later, remembering that this teacher was almost a friend.

Kronk looked at Wes and softened a bit.

He called over to the other two students, "Jake, Monica, can you take that into the shop to work on it?" They looked at him with some annoyance and carried the computer and associated parts into the other room. He then turned back to Wesley.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize the two of you were friends." Wesley was about to interject something, but Kronk went on. "She was more troubled by things than any of us or her family realized." He paused and swallowed visibly. "She died by suicide on Friday night."

It took a moment for the words to sink in. Their meaning was impossible to fully absorb, but they hit him hard. It was like he had suddenly become a thin, hollow shell with nothing more inside of him than the air of a cold, dry winter night. He detached from the physical world and slipped away to somewhere he'd never been. In the back of his mind, he knew he why he was weightless, he was falling from a great, great height and when the fall stopped, it would not be good.

Kronk had watched Wesley's reaction. "I can give you a pass to see the nurse," he suggested.

Wesley nodded silently. Kronk said something he didn't hear. He took the pass and walked out of room. He went to his locker, took out his coat, left his books and quietly shut the beige metal door. There were distant murmurs of classes in session as he padded down the empty hallway and out into the rain. An hour later, he arrived home, soaking wet and not remembering or particularly caring how he got there.