Never Forget You {l.s. AU}

10.

Louis

Early in the morning of January, after a new year, I and Liam were called into the office and told that we along with our barrack members have been put into the next group leading out for war later that month.

Dread filled me. I was terrified for our lives. Terrified of losing my brothers, terrified of losing Hope, but not terrified of dying.

So that afternoon, I went over to the spot, and saw her standing there, a loaf of bread and a bowl of vegetables and meat. We ate in silence. Eyes lost in each other and before I could say something, she said, "Soldier I have lied to you."

"What?" I asked shocked. She looked at me, eyes about to water, voice heavy and deep.

"I am not a girl." Was all she said, before she/he stood up, about to leave when I called out, "Hope, wait. Don't go. I understand. I totally understand why you lied. Tell me. What is your name, because I am sure your name is not Hope Eden." I smiled at him, just to reassure him that I am not lying.

"I am Harry. Harry Edward Styles. My mum disguised me this way because she didn't want me to go for war. And I am not Aryan, but my father has connections that allowed us to stay hidden. I am so sorry, Louis. I didn't wish to misguide you. Even my mother thinks I am up in my bunker and not here. I am such a bad person. I am so so sorry." He ramble's on tears falling off his face.

I simply say, "Harry, Harry. Love, listen. I don't mind you being a boy. Alright. I am still in live with you. Are you in Love with me?" I ask curiously.

"Yes, yes. Oh god, yes, Louis Tomlinson, I am still in love with you. I guess, I have been disguised as a girl for so long, that I have fallen for a boy. Forgive me for being such a sinner. But I love you." He says, enthusiastically.

"Well, Harry. Don't come here from tomorrow. I have been shifted. I shall be training for a week before leaving on the last day of this month. I am sorry, but I will never forget you. You will always be in my heart, Harry Styles. Always." I say, a bit sadly.

But his face crumples as he runs off. My heart tugging as it leaves with him. I guess, if I die, I shall die content that my love was real and beautiful. And if I were to survive, I would go around the world just to find the man of my life, a smile threatening to break my face. Even if I felt dead inside, my soul having left me, run me over with a caravan wheel and I am nothing but roadkill, I couldn't help but smile knowing that I am loved in the purest way possible. So pure and innocent and willing to sin. Who does he think he is, loving me till I felt happy to be broken.

***

The next afternoon, my tears have dried, not my scars, the bruises still bleeding, and I am not going to cover them, willing to bleed to death with these hypothetical hurt. I am brought out of my trance when my work partner, who took turns digging, came knocking at our door. I call him in and he says, "Mate, I had taken over after you went away and this morning I reached there at around nine, and this letter was hanging from its corner on the fence. So I brought it to ya. Know why it was there?"

"No, I don't quite know. Possibly might be my brothers playing pranks at me. But, thanks anyways. I will talk to them about not disturbing the sites afterwards. Alright, mate. Thanks once again." I say as I hide the letter from his view.

As he leaves, all I can think of is how everything in life has been putting me down. Is there something that was meant to not hurt me?

"Louis! Want to play a match of cards before we forget what your smile looks like?" Niall, he always knows, he somehow always knows, just knows that someone is sad.

"Alright bring it on lads. I'll show you how to play. No one can win from me." I boast.

"Aye, thats because you played with dad and also with Dr. Schnell." Liam pops in. I just laugh.

To let go of the one I love, knowing he was a boy, to knowing that I might not have a chance if ever feeling this way again. Knowing that I won't love someone as I loved Harry.

But I'll die a happy man.

So that night as everyone slept, I wrote to mum, telling her the truth about Harry and telling her how we were going on war and while I know she would pray for me, I hope I don't die a martyr and a promise that I'll find her again, someday.

By night's speed postal, my letter went and the next morning my heart broke, shattered.

In the early hours of the morning they called me in saying that the Polish Church behind our house along with my mother's bakery was blown away by soldiers who thought the towns people were holding refugees. My family had perished.

No one from my family lived. My thirteen year old sister, my nine year old sister, my six year old twin sisters, my year old sister and brother, my mother, my father, all had gone.

I left the office, outside my barracks I screamed, I screamed out of agony, of knowing that my angel had a broken heart, my family was lost, I had lost. I had lost everything I had, I had nothing left. I had lost to the game universe played with me and I hoped and I hoped that I would wake up from this nightmare.

But I didn't.

Instead, I blacked out right in front of the barrack door.

And even in darkness, I hoped and hoped that I wake up to a world where my family is back safe and awaiting my and my brothers arrival, where alongside a chapel, on the end of the aisle I stood hand in hand with Harry, my brothers and townspeople in attendance.

I was a man with a broken heart, a broken mind, a broken soul.

I willed to die.