I wake up to the sweet sounds of birds singing. I clumsily walk over to the bathroom and get ready for the day. I hear my mom call me downstairs for breakfast. I walk down, and instantly a familiar smell hits my nose.
My mom, who is standing in front of the stove, turns and smiles at me.
"Chocolate chip pancakes! Your favorite!"
I take a seat at the breakfast bar and start tapping my fingers. I watch the birds outside eating from the multiple bird feeders we hung up.
After I eat, I decide to go outside and hangout with the animals.
We just moved into this house about a year and a half ago, and it's got a hell of a lot of wildlife. I walk over to the little woods area and climb a tree.
He used to love climbing trees
NO, don't think about him!
Why not? Don't you love him anymore?
Of course i do!
Then you should be inside, mourning him!
Stop!
Why should you get to enjoy life when he can't?
STOP!!
"Honey, are you okay?" My mom runs out and sees me on the tree, about to fall off.
"Yeah Momma, why?" I ask her acting as if nothing just happened.
"Well, I heard you yelling, so I thought I'd come check!"
"Mom! I'm fine!"
"Okay, sweety, sorry."
She turns back and walks away.
I've been having these thoughts ever since...the accident. They haunt me, both in my sleep and when I'm awake.
Everyone tells me that it wasn't my fault, or used to tell me. I've drifted apart from all my friends ever since, and all my relatives usually avoid conversation with me and just smile at me pitifully.
I don't really talk much unless I need to. And that is usually never. I look like a ghost with my pale cheeks and the dark circles under my eyes.
What's more? I hate people. There is only one human in the world I give a rat's tail about, and that's my mom. Why? Because she's also the only human in the world who comes close to understanding my pain. The pain I suffer because I killed my brother.
