A Royal Pain

CHAPTER EIGHT

warning: there's a smut-ish kind of scene but it's also kind of non-con-ish so just look out for that -  you'll see it coming!

Keeping a secret was a lot harder than Dan had thought, especially when the secret was that he was in love with his best friend. He'd kept secrets before of course, little, unimportant things—but never from Phil. Now that he was, he felt the strain it put on him, the constant pressure on his chest squeezing his insides, pushing down on him and making him know that he was going to have to tell Phil. It was just a matter of when. Honestly, his feelings for Phil were starting to become a royal pain.

"You okay?" Phil asked, peering up at him from across the table. Dan cleared his throat.

"Yeah. Of course."

They were in the library, a place they hadn't been together since the last time Phil had visited Hirona. Nowadays, Dan kept his books in his rooms: a constantly growing collection of well-worn and well-loved books, ones that he'd thumbed through many times and placed fondly on his shelf. Now, though, he needed something new to read (if only to momentarily distract him from his feelings), and there was an extensive library right in the west wing of the castle. It was big enough to house maybe five of Dan's living quarters; chock full of books, comfortable reading chairs, and strategically placed tables. It had been one of Dan's favorite places when he was little, before he met Phil and before he learned about order-and-delivery via horse.

"Are you sure?" Phil asked softly, as if they weren't the only ones in the whole library and had an actual need to be quiet. "Because you keep looking as if you're so far away. And you're a bit pale..."

"I'm fine," Dan asserted, fiddling with a page in the book in an attempt to do something with his hands, anything to keep them occupied and not-shaking. He, most certainly, was not fine. There was the whole love thing to contend with. And the gay thing. And the prince with responsibilities thing. But mostly it was the fact that Phil was so beautiful that every time Dan looked at him his insides seemed to clench, his breath sticking somewhere in his throat. "I'm just..."

"Anxious?" Phil input, laughter on the edge of his voice. "It's just a girl."

Dan huffed, turning his eyes back to his book. He'd managed to crumple the edge of his page with his thumb, and he meticulously flattened it back out, pressing down over the crease. "I guess." He'd managed to forget, for a few moments, that he was to court another girl today. He was dreading it more than usual, dreading it not only because it was a long, boring affair, but because this would be his first time doing it after realizing he wasn't actually attracted to girls. He'd be faced with this entire afternoon meant to make him feel attraction towards some random girl when it was never going to happen anyway. It was going to put things into perspective even more than it already was, and Dan was kind of sick of having his world turned upside down.

Phil glanced towards the library doors, as if afraid there might be eavesdroppers, before looking back at Dan. The only possible eavesdroppers were Alfonzo and Bentley, who Dan and Phil had decided to inform of Dan's little predicament. They'd told them all about the assassination attempts, and in a moment of trust, the king's misconceptions about Phil. Dan had felt safe going to them, knowing that they were willing to listen and act on it, whereas if he went to tell his own father, he'd probably be faced with more accusations towards Phil. It wasn't just that he hated hearing it, hated having his friend's honor insulted; it was the fact that hearing it made Dan so angry that he felt like he could do something he might regret.

Of course, Alfonzo and Bentley had informed him that it was their duty to tell the captain of the guard: a stern, responsible kind of man with a mustache that didn't suit his face at all. And it was probably within his duty to tell the king, but Dan didn't care as long as he wasn't the one who had to confront him. It'd be nice if his father could stop suspecting Phil, but even if he didn't, Dan wasn't going to stop hanging around with him.