Alex came back today. He had an old, beat up guitar with him. There were various bumper stickers plastered at random intervals along the scarred and scraped wood that made the thing up. He said it was mine. Or, belonged to the me that died after the crash. I'm still me, I know that. I'm just different somehow. In the way that I can't remember what I like or who I know. It's like my personality died, but my body is still here.
I'm just the body of a lifeless girl, emotionless and plain. Even Ethan sees it. He tries not to, I can tell. But he diverts his eyes, describes me in the past tense. I know that I'm different and they hate that. They want Allison back, not this strange kid who took her place.
Alex played me a sad song on the guitar. His voice is beautiful, soft but powerful. He closed his eyes as he sang, probably imagining the past Allison. The Allison that would've been singing a duet with him instead of just taking up space on the living room couch. The one that he said cried at every movie they ever went to together. The one who spilled over with almost insane emotion and could make anyone smile.
Sorry, Alex. This isn't that Allison. That Allison doesn't exist anymore.
"Do you miss her?" I didn't know that I was going to ask the question until it was already past my lips. The music stopped abruptly and Alex's eyes opened slowly, his lips still parted slightly and pain visible in his big eyes. His voice was soft, like everything else about him.
"What do you mean?" He made his way over to me, sat down next to me on the couch and placed his hand close to mine. I couldn't stop the tears from falling.
"Allison. The girl you loved. Ethan's sister. The one who could move the world with her fingertips and cure illness with her laughter. The beautiful, perfect girl who no one could resist or hate. You know who I'm talking about," My voice was loud and irritated, heightening in volume until I was screaming hysterically. "It's not me, Alex! I'm not her! You know what I mean. You know! How can anyone love a person like me? I'm not Allison. I'm not anywhere close to what Allison was! Allison, at least, remembered who her boyfriend was and wasn't damaging to her family!"
Alex stared blankly into my eyes for a moment, searching them. Except, there was nothing to search. Just empty green eyes that used to belong to a girl that meant something. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and wraped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close.
"I know you're different. And I know that this is hard for you. But you're not someone that I used to love. I love you right now, Allison. And I know the old you is in there somewhere, you just have to dig deeper. I'll love you no matter what,"
We spent the evening crying and snuggled into eachother's arms. We watched a movie that I supposedly loved. Alex said that I cried every time we watched it together. This time, I couldn't even tear up to save my life.
YOU ARE READING
Dandelions and Other Wishes
Teen Fiction"Jamie, it's Alex," "Oh. Hi?" It felt like I was talking to a complete stranger. I didn't remember him. He could be my brother, for all that I knew. "You don't... Remember me, do you?" His voice cracked, hurt and raw. I stared into his shockingly bl...
