Jelix Short Stories

Bad Dream

**This chapter can contain a little bit of graphic and depressive scenes**

Sean P.O.V.

I look into the bathroom mirror my bloodshot eyes glared back at me, reminding me of the tears I hadn't long shed a few moments ago. I look over to the bath tub just about half full that will do won't it?

I stop the tap from running and glace back over at the mirror to the left of the room. I could no longer see my reflection just the wall on the other side.

'Felix really hurt me this time' thinking to myself back on what had happened. Taking a gulp to clear the lump in my throat I lift my legs up that now felt like two large weights to get into the tub. Taking my razor from the side and just held in my right hand.

Leaning back into the tub I close my eyes tightly as I felt the sharp pain cross my wrist, coughing up a few powerful tears as I do so.

I give it one last try this must have been my 3rd cut by now and already I felt faint and sick.

My arm drops into the water as my eyes stay shut, my head slowly sinking down into the water as my lips spread apart.

Eventually my whole head was in the water by now I couldn't find the energy anymore to struggle to get up to stop the drowning.

"Sean" I heard faintly

"Sean!" the voice called a second time a little louder.

"SEAN!" this felt as though it was right close up to my ear and I shot up.

I found myself warmer than what I was I still couldn't see anything but I could feel something tight across my back and chest.

"Baby are you okay, you wouldn't stop shaking, and you were all sweaty and..." i heard a familiar voice stuttered as I felt what appeared to be a body pull away from me making things more clearer as it moved away.

Felix was sat in front of me holding my hand pretty tight up against his chest. "Was it another nightmare?" he bowed his head down and got a little more comfortable ready as though to listen.

I didn't want to talk about it so I just nod yes and stood up making my way to the kitchen to get a drink.

I didn't get far until Felix pulled me back down. "No I don't want you moving, whatever happened wasn't good."

"Felix leave me alone I want a drink and I will get one myself" I yank my hand away from his and make my way to the kitchen.

"What have I done, look what ever has happened in that dream it wasn't me, I promise!" he followed me down to the kitchen.

"Sure" my eyebrow lifts a little as I take the glass from the cupboard.

"I'm serious, it was just a dream Sean" looking over to him he seemed full of guilt

"If you were that honest that it was just a dream answer me this" I put the glass down on the worktop and walk over to him. "Why do you look guilty then hey?"

Waiting for a few moments I still had no reply.

I look down at my arm and shrug facing back up to him.

"I don't know what to do Felix."

He tries to embrace me into another one of his hugs but I restrain and struggle out, making my way to the glass to fill it with water.

"What is it I left yesterday to do you a favour and withdraw money for you from the bank and get repaid by looking at your stupid phone!" my eyes widen shit I shouldn't have said that oh fuck fuck fuck I take a look behind me and notice Felix was getting slightly closer

"You looked through my phone?!" I could feel him getting a little tense and defensive which really made me uneasy.

"Well I had to check, Felix you've been off on me for the past 3 weeks and I guess I just... lost my trust in you."

"Who's conversations have you read? I haven't spoken to anyone but you unless it's about collabs or a catch up..." he placed his hand on my back and started to follow my spine.

"How do I know that for sure eh?" I huff "And would you leave me alone jesus!" I move to get his hand away.

"Sean" Felix whispered calmly coming even closer to me he placed his hand on my hip and planted a kiss on the back of my neck.

Quickly moving I turn and the glass seemed to just swing out of my hand hitting the wall thankfully missing Felix. He jumped out of his skin looking at where the glass went then straight back at me.

"What was that for?" he glared at me his mouth a gap and startled

Horrified at my action I ran to the nearest bath room locking the door behind me, huffing to catch my breath back.

The voices in my head were getting louder and louder by the second until I eventually sank to the floor in a ball.

The door started banging with a worried Felix on the other end. I tried my hardest to block out the sound.

This was starting to seem like my other dream; Felix eventually stopped banging which made it a lot more peaceful and easier for the thoughts to come. I look over at the bath tub and decided not to run it but I did grab the razor however and started to do what I do best in these situations.

I felt my eye lids getting heavy again as my body started to slouch, my back only half on the bathroom door. I felt my legs slightly going numb as to how tight I was hugging my legs into my chest.

Muttering under my own breath I close my eyes opening them for what I thought would have been the last time.

I burst out into loud tears gasping for air holding my chest feeling as it pounded hard against my hand. "Help" I poured out with more tears flooding out from my eyes.

Felix came running in "hey, mate, what is it? Are you okay? Come on breath with me"

Felix started to breathe very heavily to allow me to follow his breathing.

"I can't" I blurt out throughout heavy breathes

"You can't what Jack" Felix calmly spoke trying to help me calm down

"I just...Can't" I cough hitting Felix's chest slightly leaving more tears fall.

Felix started to say soothing words to help calm me which helped for a short while until it all hit back to me.

Eventually after everything calming down and my panic attack calmed down Felix sat me down in the kitchen with a cup of black coffee and some biscuits.

"...It was like those dreams within a dream" i finshed explaining what happened, well parts of it i couldn't tell him everything he's my bestfriend i can't tell him we were together in my dream.

"Man and that happenes nearly every night?"

"Yeh" i look down at my cup and take a sip, "And it always ends with a simmular ending. I never know how to stop it, so i just deal with them"

"That must be so scary to go through! Have you seen a doctor about it?" Felix takes a bite out of his biscuit and looked me directly in the eyes.

"They never believe you, besides at least i do all that stuff in my dream not in real life. See" i roll up my sleves to show Felix "Clean" i let off a small smile then lean back against the chair.

"But you would though...wouldn't you" he cocked an eye brow up at me

"Besides the point" I huff into my mug.

Sorry if it got confusing at parts but i think i needed to talk about this. I don't go through this daily, and my thoughts are with you if you do. but i occasionally have them if i've had a rough day or a werid one at that. Also i appologise for the descriptions at times i was listening to Kitchen sink by twentyonepilots and um :') it also gets to me. But i hope you liked it!