A love like His

1

Hello everyone! I'm back. I am creating an updated version of Lost. The previous version will be removed. I'm sorry for anyone who liked it, but it was bad lol!! Hopefully you will like this version better and hopefully it will flow much better. I will try to upload a new chapter every Sunday! I am excited to be back. Thank you for all the recent followers. I really appreciate you guys. So here is the first installment to my new story, A love like His. Much love, Dee.

********

 Happier. That's all I wanted to be. One day I wanted to feel that way. Happier. It was something I haven't felt in so long. I can't remember a time when I was happier. That doesn't mean I'm happy, because I'm not. I'm miserable. I'm lonely. I feel as if there is no one in this world who cares for me. I feel that no one will ever truly love me, because dad says I'm unlovable and I know it's true. Why would anyone love someone like me? Why would anyone want to be with me? I'm a monster. I killed my own mother.

********

"Bentley! Get your ass down here now." my father yelled. I roll over onto my side. I just want to ignore him. I want to close my eyes and ears forever and never see, or hear him again. Unfortunately, that is not how life goes.

I slowly uncurl from the fetal position I had tucked myself into last night, and roll off my bed. It's not like my bed is very comfortable, oh no, it's the lumpiest thing you'll ever have the displeasure of laying on. I'm not exactly sure why I spend so much of my free time lying in it, but I do. It's probably because if I'm anywhere else my dad will find reason to hit me. He does that a lot, hits me, it's like I'm the only thing he can take his anger out on. Anyways, I walk out of my small, closet like room, and down the old rickety stairs. I run my fingers along the cracking wallpaper. I remember when I was little I loved running my fingers over the cracks in the floor, the cracks that ran over my mommy's tummy, and then one day the cracks didn't make me happy anymore. They were a reminder of a past I don't wish to remember.

THACK. I hear the slap before I even feel it. It takes me only a second to identify what has just happened. My dad hit me. Again. It's my fault though, I was taking too long. I knew this would happen, but I did it anyways. I shouldn't be so stupid. If I don't want to get hit, I need to be better. Why can't I be better?

"What the fuck is wrong with you boy? I told you to get down here now, not tomorrow, not in eight years from now. I fucking said now, didn't I?"

I nod.

"Then why the fuck did it take you so long? You know what, I don't even care, worthless piece of shit. Go clean up that mess, I'm going out." I look towards the mess he is referring to and note all the empty, broken, liquor bottles scattered across the living room floor. My mind starts to wonder why we have carpet in here. God only knows how much easier it would be to clean broken glass off a wooden floor as compared to a carpeted floor. I mean honestly, who picks carpet anymore? Hardwood looks great, feels great, and is super easy to clea...

THACK. I kneel over as blood rushes out of my nose. Ow. I'm sure it's broken. I nurse my nose as tears form in my eyes. I won't let them spill. I can't show weakness.

"Honestly, I think you're retarded. Move your ass, now!" he shouts in my face. Spittle flies out of his mouth. It's gross.

I stand up slowly and walk over towards the living room. I pass through to grab the broom from the kitchen first and to grab some tissue for my nose. Once I have all the necessary products I get to work. I hear a satisfied 'humph' and then the door slam loudly.

"No need to slam the door...geesh." I mumble. I sweep all the large pieces into the scooper and throw it into the trash. Next, I spend an hour picking up all the tiny pieces that are embedded in the carpet. I hate carpet, just so very much.

Once I'm done I decide to go for a walk. I normally do not get the chance to leave the house except for when dad is out drinking, or when I'm headed for hell, aka school. I open the door and breathe in the fresh air. It's a nice spring day. The sky is a clear blue with barely a cloud in sight. The sun high in the sky, a symbol of happiness, a happiness I never feel. I sigh and step outside. I stare at our front yard. Compared to our neighbors it's ugly. The grass is too tall, there are weeds everywhere, and the fence needs a new coat of paint. Perhaps I could get some yard work done instead before dad gets back. Yes, I think that is a splendid idea. I, however, do not have any workable tools to fix up the yard, so I look over at my neighbor's house. Miss Johnson. She's mean, a nasty old coot who does not like me, not that I blame her.

I inch over towards the side of her house and hop my fence and hers. I peek into the window to see if she's home. No, she is not. I thank my lucky stars and quickly dash towards her shed in the backyard. I open the old shed and grab her push lawn mower. I push it, obviously, towards my house. It is, however, a bit difficult for me as I'm quite small and weak. It takes a little effort but I finally make it. I go back to her shed and grab a paint roller, the dish for paint, and some, thankfully, white paint. I close the shed and head back to my place to get started. I feel a little giddy inside knowing what I'm about to do. Maybe now people won't stare at our house in disgust. I for once can take pride in the home that I live in. Well, let's not go that far.

After a few hours, out in the good ole fresh air, I'm famished. I weakly drag the lawn mower back to Miss Johnson's shed with my spaghetti arms. I decide to just keep the paint supplies, just cause. I stand at the opening of our fence and admire all my work. A small smile touches my lips before I tread back into the house. As I open the door to my home, the ghost of a smile disappears and my heart sinks a little. Today was a good day. I wish it never had to end.

********

And there you have it folks!!!! The first chapter of my new book! I hope you like it! Thank you for everyone who has stuck with me. I really do appreciate you. Like, comment, vote if you wish. Feedback is always great! I'm feeling inspired, so maybe there will be another chapter posted tonight! Much love, Dee ❤