.
"Here I am writing this letter to you. I am telling you I love you more than life itself, but you didn't see it. You didn't realize what you had. Maybe once I'm gone, you will know what you had. I didn't want it to come to this, but you are the only reason I wake up in the morning. You are what makes my heart beat. You are my life, the one that keeps me going day after day, but you hurt me more than I ever imagined. I don't know why, but you did. You didn't want to give me a chance, you didn't want to try and love me. You only wanted to try and make something work out with her, even though we all knew that it would. All good things must come to an end, and you know that what you and her had wasn't good the whole time. Things between you and her got bad. You both messed up. I wouldn't have made it bad for you. I would have treated you like you owned the universe. I would have loved you unconditionally, with no limits. Again, I am writing you this letter to say my final goodbyes. I love you and I hope to see you again someday."
I sign the letter "Aiyana". I put the letter into the already addressed and stamped envelope and seal it shut. "This is it," I thought. My life has only gotten worse since I fell in love with her. I now feel that there is nothing left to live for. She took my heart and smashed it into little pieces. I have gone through hell and back for her. I was there for her when "she" wasn't. She cried on my shoulders and I wiped her tears. I truly love her more than life itself. That is why I have decided that it's best that I just end it all now.
I don't plan on doing it tonight, but the letter will be put into the mailbox tonight so it goes out in the morning. I take a deep breath in and stand up out of my chair. I need to sleep. I am beyond emotionally drained. Let's just hope that I can actually fall asleep easily for once. Every since her, I have had nothing but trouble sleeping. I have had nothing but trouble in general. She just has this effect on me that I can't control. I can't stop myself from doing whatever she says, like I'm her little puppy dog.
I walk into my room and take a look around me. There are clothes on the floor, various items scattered around my dresser, and my schoolwork thrown across my bed. Why bother clean up this mess if it is only going to get messy after. I turn on the lamp by my bed and shut off the light switch. I crawl into bed, feeling empty inside. I turn off the lamp and close my eyes. The past keeps coming into my thoughts, even though I try and fight it off. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to deal with it. All I want to do is sleep.
I start to doze off, thinking about her. Thinking about how much I love her and how much I need her in my life. Maybe once I'm gone, she wont have to worry about me. Maybe my pain will be completely gone.
