A Year With Connor Haynes

chapter four

chapter four

The very next morning felt like a blur to me. I woke up facing Connor's back, one arm draped over the headrest and the other tucked neatly on the other side of him. I allowed myself to get out of bed as quietly as I could manage to try not to wake the sleeping Connor. He looked so at peace when he slept. I hoped Adessa had that sort of peace to her, now that she could sleep forever.

"Mornin', buttercup," Eliza says in her fake southern accent, seeming more awake than I was. She was busying herself in the kitchen with making those chocolate chip pancakes that she promised the night before.

"Yeah, good morning."

"Did you sleep okay? I hope you did because we have a pretty long day ahead of us."

"I slept okay."

"Where's Connor?"

"Still sleeping."

"What are you talking about, Claire? I'm right here." I turned around to see Connor standing in the hallway, his eyes still bearing sleep.

"Oh, well, good morning Connor, nice of you to join us for breakfast." Eliza continued to place pancakes on plates as she spoke.

I couldn't even turn back around to face Eliza, I was so stuck on staring at the beauty that was Connor Haynes in his baby blue tank top and floral shorts, hair disheveled and all. He was just sound asleep, was he not?

Connor moved to sit down at the table, "Are you going to join us too, Claire?"

I accompanied him in the seat next to his, feeling my cheeks get warm from the awkward atmosphere. Thankfully, Eliza set the breakfast in front of us before either of us could say a word.

"Okay, so today we're going to learn some board basics, maybe some intermediate stuff if you two get the hang of this pretty quickly. How does that sound?"

"Awesome!" Connor was already checking out the board that Eliza was letting him use, all decked out in vibrant floral patterns that almost matched the scheme of his shorts. He seemed so excited — I thought it was kind of cute.

"Alright, well, first thing's first — you have to learn how to balance of this thing. Let's get these out into the ocean and try it out a bit."

Trying to balance on surfboard while 15 mph waves are hurling themselves at you was, to say the least, a lot more complicated than trying to float in water. It was difficult to put the instructions to actual use, and I was struggling more than I initially thought I would. Connor picked up pretty quickly, unlike me, and I felt embarrassment, once again, swallow me whole.

"Alright, kids, well I think that's as much as I can get in today. We may come back out tomorrow if the weather is nice, but I heard it's calling for thunderstorms later. Anyways, it's getting pretty late, and we need to eat some dinner pretty soon, so I'll go cook, and I'll call you kids in when it's done, okay?"

"M'kay, thanks, Liz."

Connor and I sat on our boards and waded as far as the waves would take us. The movement of the ocean seemed to calm more as the sun began to set, and I found myself getting more tired by the second.

"So how was it? Do you regret coming with me or what?"

"No way, that was totally fun. And — I'm saying 'totally' in a not-so-cliche kind of way, for your clarification."

I gave him a sheepish smile, "Do you like Eliza? I know she can sometimes come off a little invasive if you let her. She hasn't made you uncomfortable, has she?"

Connor moved to sit criss-cross on the board, breathing in deeply, "No, I think she's okay. She's really upbeat and is kind to me, so I really don't have any room to complain about her."

"How's your first day/night away from home? Do you feel homesick yet?"

"It's been okay. I've been distracted all day, so I guess that makes things a bit easier, you know. I kind of miss Micheal, but I told him we'd go to the park when we get back to make up for all this lost time."

The way Connor talked about his little brother made my heart swell. I never knew someone could have such a deep relationship with their sibling, not that I could compare it to myself. My mother left before her and dad could even think to have a second child. I think in that aspect, Connor is the luckiest boy I've ever met.

When we drifted back toward the shore, Connor and I decided to sit on the edge of the shoreline and chill out until we were called inside for dinner. We lied there for several minutes without saying a word, watching as the sky diffused itself between hues of oranges and pinks to reds and blacks. Once the stars became visible, Connor pointed toward the sky and traced a shape with the stars, "Look-y there, that makes a pentagon."

"A pentagon? That's peculiar. You only ever see simple shapes in star patterns."

"Ha, I guess it kind of matches this scenario then . . . quite peculiar."

Connor Haynes, you're so damned cute I can't take it. You are quite literally making my skin crawl.

When I didn't reply to his comment, Connor laughed it off himself, turning back toward the house. I followed his gaze, watching in awe as the lights across the skyline continuously blinked as if spelling something out, speaking a kind of language that hadn't been discovered yet. But either way, it had the both of us determined to watch it to try and understand it.

"Are you up for talking still, Claire?"

"I guess so."

"Well . . . do you remember when you talked about your friend?"

"Yeah, what about her?"

"I never did let you tell me what happened to her."

"It's a really long story, though."

"That's okay. You can tell me part of it now and part of it later."

"Are you're sure you won't forget?"

"Promise."

I took a deep breath and looked over at Connor, caught his gaze, and even saw the night light reflected in the whites of his eyes. I wasn't exactly sure if I could tell him the ending, even after offering him an explanation — the endings are always the saddest parts of books.

"Well, I had this friend. Her name was Adessa. Adessa Harvell. She — she was my best friend. She was the first person I went to whenever things weren't going like I planned, even though I knew she had her own problems to deal with. She — she liked math. She used to help me with my geometry a lot. And — and she loved people. She absolutely adored people. Unfortunately . . . she didn't know how to say 'no'. A lot of people ended up hurting her, and yet she still trusted them, which I never quite understood.

"I didn't know how she could let some disgusting piece of shit break her down and still love them as if they were her best friend. Sometimes I think that's the real reason she left, to get away from all those she could never say 'no' to. I don't know, it's not like I can ask her or anything."

"Did she leave Cali?"

"You can say that, yeah."

"And she never even gave you her new address or phone number or anything? Some best friend."

I closed my eyes. For some reason, the last remark hurt. It left a stinging sensation in my head and on my fingertips and when I touched the sand, I could feel the pain transfer from me to the earth, yet the pain came back. Why did she leave without a trace? Why didn't she give me a different address or phone number? Did she not think she was going to missed? God I missed her so much.

"Connor! Claire! Dinner's ready!" The familiar sound of Eliza's made my eyes snap back open. Thank you for not letting me finish.

"Finish the story another time?"

"Yeah, another time, Connor."