honeybee; yoonseok

one

summer, 1989

Hoseok was knee-deep in the murky lake with Jimin Park when his parents died. It was an average summer day in Iowa, temperate with clouds swimming lazily in the sky. The water was icy despite the fact that it was mid-July, his toes sinking deep into the squishy mud. Jimin sat content on the rickety dock, his jeans rolled up over his ankles as he chewed a wad of spearmint gum from the pack they had carefully shoplifted not even an hour before. The cashier had paid them no mind, either not noticing the pack hidden underneath the waistband of Hoseok's shorts or deciding she wasn't paid enough to deal with two elementary-aged thieves.

Open glass bottles of root beer sat on the shore line in between their worn sneakers, a few bumble bees buzzing gently around the fizzy treats. Hoseok fished his hands through the water, his hands delicately raking the ground for smooth stones, polished by the waves. From the dock he heard the sharp snap! of a gum bubble, looking up the see Jimin's face smiling at him.

"I'm getting glasses soon." The younger boy broke the pleasant silence, his words fumbling messily over the pile of gum in his teeth. "I think they'll make me look more mature."

"'Mature'? Don't you think you'll get made fun of?" He paused, wiping his soggy hands on his shorts, "I mean, we're gonna be going into the sixth-grade... What if you look nerdy?"

Jimin scoffed, standing up from where his legs were dangling above the water. He walked back to the shore, shooing the bees away from his root beer before taking a swig. "My mom says I'll look nice, and whatever... They'll be nice glasses, not nerdy ones."

"Aren't all glasses nerdy?"

"You're nerdy."

"I can't be nerdy, I just stole a pack of gum!" Hoseok retorted, wading back to the shore where the other boy stood. "That means I'm like... cool, and stuff." Hoseok smacked Jimin on the back of the head when he rolled his eyes at him, making the youngest of the two yelp in pain. In the flash of a second, Jimin tackled his friend to the ground for revenge. They play fought on the coarse sand; barrels of laughter spilling out into the open air, ending with handfuls of dust in the boys hair and their cheeks sore from smiling.

Time always flew by when Jimin and Hoseok were together. They were the best of friends, constantly by each other as if they were glued at the hip. It was already early into the evening, the temperature dropping and losing it's usual summer humidity. The sky was bleeding lilacs into orange-y reds while the sky began to slip below the horizon. There on that grassy beach side the two boys felt something between them; a feeling they could not name. Jimin sat on top of Hoseok, the older boy still pinned beneath him in the coarse sand. Their laughter had died minutes earlier and now a stiff silence sat between them. On that shore of the lake everything changed the evening Jimin Park kissed Hoseok, hidden behind grass blowing in the summer breeze.

Kissing was entirely foreign to the two kids, being as they were children. It was something they had seen only on television and between their parents. It felt strange. It felt like they were doing something they weren't supposed to be doing. Kissing was such a private thing, and in 1989 Iowa it was practically taboo for two boys to be doing such a thing. The kiss was short however, innocent pecks of curiosity. So quick, Hoseok almost thought he had imagined it. In a flash, Jimin was off of Hoseok and gathering his things to walk back to his parent's ranch. Without a word, Hoseok followed.

-

"Mom? Hoseok's here, he's staying the night!"

"Okay, go brush your teeth and get ready for bed boys." Mrs. Park replied as Jimin and Hoseok scampered up the stairs to Jimin's bedroom. They quickly peeled off their sand-covered clothes and changed, flopping onto the mattress that sat in the middle of Jimin's bedroom. The thought of what they had done earlier by the lake hung heavy in the air, filling the room with awkwardness they tried to ignore.

"I have a new Spider-Man comic, you wanna read it?" Jimin said, shuffling through his stack of magazines and books for the comic book.

"Hell yeah!"

"Stop! You can't say that you aren't cool. People who say that do drugs."

Jimin genuinely looked panicked, like the hell police were going to bust down his door. Hoseok snorted and grabbed the comic out of his hands, their chubby fingers brushing just enough to make it awkward again.

"My parents can't know... y'know? It's not right." Jimin piped up after another minute of silence, Hoseok looking up from the comic to meet his friend's eyes.

"About what?" Stupid. Thought Hoseok, You know what he's talking about.

"What we did... By the lake. Boys can't do that."

Somewhere in the house, a phone rang.

"Oh." Hoseok knew that whatever there was between them would never happen. They were in the fifth grade, too early for relationships, and he knew deep down it meant nothing. God, how he wished it could've meant something.

A frantic gasp from Mrs. Park echoed through the air.

"Yeah... How's the comic?"

There was a commotion from downstairs, some frantic conversation between Jimin's parents. Heavy work boots hit the floorboards of the steps, and in a moment the door to the bedroom was thrown open by Jimin's dad.

"Hi, kiddo..." He paused, licking his chapped lips for the right words. "Hoseok can't stay tonight, we need to take him home right now. I'm sorry." Hoseok was plucked up from where he sat, held high in Mr. Park's arms.

He was sat in the leather seat of the Park family's truck, Mr. Park behind the wheel as they drove the 5 minute drive in silence. Hoseok was worried of course, because there was a lot happening. In his mind, the only thing he could think of was that they had found out. His parents had found out about him kissing his best friend, Jimin Park. His parents had found out about him kissing another boy. The drive was fast, as if Mr. Park was speeding the entire time. Maybe he wanted to get rid of him as fast as he could. 

Panic made time freeze and Hoseok numb, his mind repeating the same phrase like a mantra.

They know.

They know. They know. They know.

The front porch light was on when they pulled in the driveway, a face he vaguely recognized standing on the steps to the front door.

Aunt Miyeon stood in one of her usual patterned sundresses, mascara streaks running down her face like a river of soot. She only ever visited every other Sunday for brunch, why was she here? Hoseok was swept into her arms as Mr. Park gave his "sincerest apologies". The rest of the conversation flew over his head, none of the words sinking in because of the panic. It was like he was deaf. It wasn't until Aunt Miyeon sat him down at the dinner table did he finally tune in to what she was saying to him.

"Oh, sweetie." She sniffled pitifully, her face red and puffy from crying. "Your mom and dad... There was another car, and it swerved into their lane and hit them head on... I'm so sorry."

His parents were gone.

His parents were dead, but in that moment Hoseok could only think one thing.

They don't know.

--

hey i took a shit ton of tylenol and i can't think straight so i decided to hammer this chapter out bc ive been trying to write this fic for like 3 months

goodnight all