LILIES OF THE VALLEY

Sigh.

-Who are you?

She didn’t speak, she smiled.

I was home; lying down in bed and next to me was a woman staring at me.

-Who are you?

She didn’t speak; she reached for my face, and with her hand landed a warm and gentle stroke that felt like a heartbeat. I closed my eyes. I could feel her fingers brushing the lines of my lips, as if she was trying to draw a happier expression on my face. As she released my chin, I felt a cold bite and the smell of a familiar flower, Lilies of the Valley.

-Who is she? I wondered.

I wouldn’t know but since she was smiling at me I politely smiled back.

-Was I drunk? Have we done it?

I couldn’t remember but the idea of blacking out definitely gave me a chill. The caring soul thought I was cold, so she took my hands and hid them in hers a little while. Then she placed them on her belly. It felt warm and soft. I felt proud.

A second later guilt took over. As the morning light was kissing her face, a bright ray stung my eyes. It bounced back from the ring on her finger.

-My god she is married! What have I done!

I couldn’t look at her anymore. I promptly turned my back and sat on the bed. I slowly slid my feet down the bedside and let them meet with my slippers. I couldn’t stay in bed with her. I stood up and headed for the bathroom. As I opened the door to face the mirror, I could hear the crumpling sound of the bed sheets. She was getting off bed to follow me.

-What happened? How did I let that happen? This is not me; I never do those kinds of things. What should I do?

Then I saw her in the mirror, standing behind me, beautiful like an angel. She was staring at me as if she was trying to pull my soul out.

-You cannot stay here, I’m sorry.

Once again she smiled. She wrapped herself around my back, like she would never let go. I turned around hoping to push her away, but as I faced her, I saw little and silent tears slipping out from her eyes. As I lean forward to dry them our foreheads bumped. It felt like a sudden wave that hit us, I lost track of my own existence for a little while there. Then, she lifted herself on the tip of her toes and on the corner of my lips planted a kiss that tasted like the sea. Nothing else mattered anymore. I felt younger, blissfully careless. I think she noticed it since she took my hand and pulled me through the living room, to start dancing and spinning around all over the place. She seemed happy. Her hands were waving like wings, brushing the pictures on the walls, the furniture, pulling the curtains, and humming that little song.

-She as to be a dream, I’m dreaming that is what it is. How could hands hum anyhow?

All this was making me dizzy. I needed to lie down. I could barely breathe. She stopped dancing when she saw me entering the bedroom, she came and helped me sit on the bed. She was facing me, smiling. She leaned toward me and out of nowhere she created love. She kissed me. My ears were ringing; I was so excited I could hear bells. My heart was pounding so much; it felt I would die from happiness. She understood and showed me pills by the bedside.

She gently stroked my head as I was calming down. I felt ridiculous, like a five years old. I looked at her and started to laugh. I was laughing at myself. I realized how silly I had been this morning and what kind of sick night I probably had the night before? She is MY wife, my beautiful caring and loving wife. We met on the beach by a windy day with strong waves blowing salty water on us. We got married in a church with very loud bells. We have three kids. We refurbish this house ourselves, every walls, every piece of furniture, every windows. Every single bright sides of my life are fed with her laughs.

-I am so sorry honey, I don’t deserve you. I swear it won’t happen again.

She smiled, she knew me so well. She wasn’t even mad at me, she always put up with me because she knows how much I love her.

As we both lied down, I took her in my arms. I loved brushing her hair with my fingers, they felt so soft. I never stop even when she got sick and started to lose them. I loved dancing with her and never stopped even when she got too weak to spin around and play with the kids. I loved bringing her Lilies of the valley, her favorite flowers. I never stopped, even when we took a room at the hospital because she needed better care. I kept bringing her Lilies every day even when she was too weak to smell them.

   

I never stopped, even when she could not smell them anymore.

I loved her so much, I never stopped, even when I got sick……

Sigh Who are you?

She didn’t speak, she smiled…  

Author: C.J COCO-VILOIN