Joji P.O.V
I drug the blade across my soft skin, each cut deeper and more relaxing. The blood so much it looked black. I kept doing this, blood mixed with tears. I tried to quit, I really did. But the blades, oh they just kept taunting me, with their sharp edges that create scars and marks. It has been a problem for a year or two. I stopped talking to Ian, Max, Chad and everyone else. I stopped making videos. It seemed as if the whole world stopped when I realized, I am nothing, I will never be anything, and I can't be anything. Tall the happiness just left my body. All I felt was cold, even when I cried, I wasn't really sad, it was more like a blur. I made my last cut and put my blade away. I started thinking about how worthless I am, and how meaningless my presence in this world is. I eventually started full on sobbing, until I got tired enough to fall asleep.
~~Morning~~
When I woke up I felt the same as I always did, tired and aching. I heard my phone go off, it was Ian. Oh well I guess I'll answer him this time to tell him I'm not dead... Yet... So I picked up, "Joji! Oh my god! I haven't talked to you in months! What happened? Are you ok? You know what I'm coming! I'm going to fly down! See you at like 3 in the morning! Bye!" He hung up. Jesus, I didn't even get a chance to say hello. And now he is flying here? Oh fucking Christ! He is flying here! And I have a trashed as fuck house! So I started cleaning even though he doesn't get here for lots of hours. It took me a while to clean maybe 2 hours. I mopped the dried blood off of my bathroom and bedroom floor. I put dishes in the sink. I swept the broken glasses and plates. I hid my anti depressants and razors. I sighed in releif. I went into the living room and fell asleep on the couch.
~~Time Skip Brought To You By Joji Vlogs~~
I don't know how long I slept but I woke up to pounding on my door. I finally got up and answered it, as soon as I did I got tackled with a hug from, Ian. I smiled, I actually fucking smiled. I don't know how this cunt made me smile so much but I loved it.
~~part two?~~
