Sarah's Secret

Chapter Thirty | Love

Sarah Calderon

      My front door slammed causing me to turn my head in surprise. I looked in Danny's direction about to pop another popcorn in my mouth when I paused at his face. He looked red and exhausted but mostly he looked rushed.

"I-" he tried to say but the footsteps that came in behind him cut him short and made all breath leave my mouth. I think I started choking on a popcorn cornel. Oh gosh embarrassing.

I composed myself and stood up to face the two men. "What was it Danny?" I asked trying to remain calm.

"Uh- well I." He paused and looked at the man beside him now but he was too busy starring at me. His face looked like he couldn't believe his eyes yet I tried to keep my eyes off of him and on Danny. "He and I were talking and... I think he knows you, so I thought you would maybe want to see him but I don't know I was just-"

"You were trying to be helpful. I know. That's just how you are Danny." I let out a breath and rubbed my forehead in stress. "Could you give us a minute?"

"Oh yeah... Sure." Danny said but I put my hand up telling him to stop.

"I was talking to him. My room is in that door, keep yourself entertained while I talk with Danny." I demanded and the man nodded walking slowly to my open room door.

Once he was gone I turned to Danny. He looked down and sagged his shoulders, "It's him isn't it?" He asked.

I rose an eyebrow in question, "What?"

He looked up at me, "He's the reason we have theses 'rules'. He's the reason your so quiet and non existent. You keep me at a distance and won't open up. Is it him. Is he the reason."

I smiled at Danny's expression. "Danny. There are some things you will never know nor understand. He's apart of some things but not others. But the answer to your real question, yes. I did love him."

Danny suddenly got this determined face and walked up to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to his chest. "Sarah." He said looking into my pale blue eyes. "Choose me, pick me. I love you. I love you so much and I would never hurt you."

I started crying then. The first time I cried in a long while. My hands came up to his cheeks and I smiled. "If only I met you first."

"Just let me love you." His voice broke and he was looking for a hidden answer on my face but his realization hit him in that moment. "But you love him."

I backed out of him arms in that moment and he understood it was time to go. "I'll see you tomorrow Danny."

When the door closed behind him my bedroom door opened. I had a feeling he was listening to everything but my body wouldn't move. I never pictured this day happening. Why does he always do this.

I was cut from my thoughts when his hands found my waist and he turned me around slamming me against the wall. Before I could protest, his lips were on mine in a hungry kiss. Yet I could feel every emotion he was pouring into it. His regret, his feelings, his fear, his relief that it's really me...

I didn't want to ever pull away, but we did.

His eyes looked into my own and I couldn't help but stare back.

My question cut the silence, "Why do you keep coming into my life and fucking everything up?"

He leaned his forehead against mine, "Because I can't get enough of you."

I pushed his chest away making him stumble backwards. "This isn't how it's supposed to be Briar! I'm done going in circles with you. This has to stop. I have a good life now, I-"

His lips cut me off in another passionate kiss. When he pulls away he whispered, "Just because I let you go doesn't mean I wanted to." His lips trailed from my mouth down my neck leaving feather like touches. I leaned my head back loving the feel.

"You set rules as if not to remember me, huh Sarah?" He asked between his attacking lips on my sweet spot making me moan out lightly. "You wear the bracelet I gave you when I Confessed my love to you to remember though."

He was mocking me and I for some reason was loving his voice more every second. "It seems to me your conflicted." He states, "so let's set your mind straight."

With that said he lifted me up over his shoulder and laid me down roughly onto the bed. I don't think it'll ever get old. He stripped his clothes as I did mine and his lips came back kissing up my leg gingerly. "This time, Sarah. I'm going to worship your body. I'm going to make love to you and kiss and pamper every mark on your body. I've always loved your body. The scars just make you all the more priceless."

His lips were rising to my hips and he paused his actions making me curse myself at what he found. I had gotten a new tattoo on my hip when I left California. Something to make sure I never forget. It was two birds with their baby flying away, under it were the words, "I still carry you".

Briar seemed taken aback by what he found and leaned forward to kiss it. He came up to me and brought me in a tight hug laying his head on my shoulder. "You're so strong." His words shocked me and I hadn't a clue why but my heart fluttered. "You have gone through so much Sarah. I had been so quick to judge you when I didn't even stop to think about how hectic life has been for you."

I swear I was doing okay. I was doing so much better. I made so much progress. I was almost even happy. I don't know what happened but something went wrong and now I find myself gasping for breath. "Briar," I gasped out. "When you look at me, do you see the girl you loved or the girl you left on that bed."

His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "When I look at you Sarah, I see the girl that Was so shy at first, the girl that had to make tough choices, the girl that was never happy, the girl that went through too much, the girl that holds herself together like a broken vase, the girl that never truly gave herself to me fully but I was too selfish to care. Sarah. I need you to know, you are not broken. You never have or will be because you're you. You've gone through so much and yet your still standing here."

Tears were freely flowing down my face and I couldn't breathe. "Sarah. You are my paradox. The love letter I can't read anymore. But the same one I refuse to throw away. And God dammit, he can't have you! Because I love you. I want you. It'll always be you."

"You don't even know me!" My voice echoes through the room. I was in hysterics and here he was trying to make me feel good but in reality, he knows nothing.

"You're wrong Sarah. You think that you leaving would make me stop? I looked for you, I heard about you. I looked up your everyday life. Because with you gone, it only made me lonely. I needed to pretend you were still there, so I learned who you were... When we first met, you were Kate, but that doesn't mean you weren't Sarah."

I decided it was time for the dramatics to come to an end, "Can we just fûck and talk about it tomorrow?"

"No Sarah, because tonight we are making love."

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