prëtëndïnġ.

ჯ ċhäptër önë. ჯ

cнαρтєя σηє — ρяєтєηɗ.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, looking at every detail of my body. I didn't like what I see, because this wasn't me, this isn't who or what I am. I don't want it. But I continued to play pretend.

I studied my hair color, which was a dark chocolate brown. And then I focused on my eyes, a vivid grey. Next, the barely and few visible freckles along my cheeks. After, I over looked the shape of my nose, it was perfect and a normal nice shape. My plump pink lips were the last thing I studied. I bit down on my lower lip, watching the movement of my lips, the way they were curved.

Still, I didn't like it. I wasn't perfect, but I wasn't imperfect. That's what I hated.

I was simply simple.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Come in." I said, turning away from the mirror and walking to my bed, siting down.

"Eh, Elliot." Rian said smiling, stepping in my room. I only returned the smile, and awaited for him to continue. I already knew he had more to say. "Darren is having a party at his place."

I wasn't very interested, but I just put on a smile and agreed to go, like usual. "Yeah, sure, sounds like fun. What time?"

Rian walked around the room, studying the place, looking at all the drawings I've done hanging on my wall or scattered on the desk. "Mmm... around nine or ten." 

He picked up a piece of paper, and read it. I watched his face, wondering why it had caught his interest so much. "What is it?" I asked.

"You write poetry?" He laughed at me, like it was pathetic.

I rolled my eyes, and snatched the paper from him. "What do you got against it?"

"Its for girls." Rian continued to laugh, as if it was funny. "And its so depressing."

"So?"

He shot me a weird look, questioning if I was being serious. "That's not you, dude."

"You don't know me." I said, with a hint of anger, and annoyance.

I folded up the piece of paper and shoved it into my back pocket. Rian shook his head, and continued to look at me weirdly. "Well, fuck, don't need to get butt-hurt about it."

Rian was beginning to piss me off the more he talked. But I pushed his stupidity aside, and focused on the party again, the party I really didn't want to go to.

"Who's going to be there?"

Rian looked at me with a questioning look. "Who's going to be where?"

I groaned. "I'm talking about the party."

Shit head.

"Oh, yeah, right..." He thought for a moment, then spoke again. "Basically everyone. Ethan, Brody, Rachel, Chris, Kat, and Emily are tottaly going, but I don't know about Owen. You know him, his parents are always up his ass..."

Rian continued to blabber about nonsense I didn't care about, and soon I just completely tuned out. I always hated parties. But if the crew was going, I had to too. If you want to fit in, you go to play pretend, right? That's all it was.