Its not about who I think I am
Its what Ive been told
Its who you say I am
Its what you say I do
What you say Ive done
How you say it affects you
Its what you say that makes me feel how I do
How I see myself
How I look at myself in the mirror
The reason I hush myself whenever I talk
The reason I keep my head down when I walk through the halls
The reason I sit alone in my room
The reason my only friend is the walls around me
The reason I'm scared to try and talk
What you say is the reason I feel this way
The reason I hate myself
Its because of what you tell me
What you say I do
How you say I make you feel
And how you then tell me I'm the reason it's bad
How you try to help
And then burden me with the words you say
And push me back into the hole Ive tried so fucking hard to escape
Yet it's not just you
Its me too
How I treat myself
How I deal with what you say
How I hide my pain from others
How I fake a smile
How I tell myself it'll end up okay
How I try to feel okay
Yet how it never works
How it pushes me in deeper
How it makes the bottomless pit deeper
How it makes the tears I thought were gone reappear
How I feel when I thought my feelings were gone
How I feel when I'm alone
How I ache
How I try
How I see
How I see myself.
